A small church in Texas had a very big-busted Organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, the proper church ladies were upset. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another Organist.
So, one of the ladies approached her and told her to mash up some green persimmons and rub them all around the nipples of her breasts. She told her that this would shrink them, but warned her not to eat or get any of the green persimmons in her mouth, 'because they are so sour they will make your mouth pucker up and you won't be able to speak properly for a while'. She agreed to try it.
The following Sunday morning the minister got up in the pulpit and said....
'Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not hath a thermon tewday.'