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#299905 - 03/23/17 03:14 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3488
Loc: Orange County, California, USA
At a hotel restaurant, a man sees an attractive woman sitting alone at the next table.

Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man, and he snatches it from the air and hands it back to her.

"This is so embarrassing," the woman says, and she pops her eye back in place. "I'm sorry to have disturbed you. Let me buy dinner to make it up to you. May I join you?" He nods.

The woman is a stimulating conversationalist, stunningly pretty, and the man finds they have a lot in common. He gets her phone number and asks, "You are the most charming woman I've ever encountered. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"

"No," she replies. "You just happened to catch my eye."

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#299906 - 03/23/17 03:23 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3488
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

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#299907 - 03/23/17 04:10 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
logtroll Offline
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Registered: 04/26/10
Posts: 8493
Loc: New Mexico (not old Mexico)
Oh, Jeezus, Peter was a humorless dick, wasn't he?
_________________________
"You can't fix a problem until you know what the problem is." Logtroll

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#299909 - 03/23/17 07:39 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: logtroll]
TatumAH Offline
newbie

Registered: 02/18/11
Posts: 368
Loc: Upstate NY
Originally Posted By: logtroll
Oh, Jeezus, Peter was a humorless dick, wasn't he?


Jeez if ya love Honkus!

On the other hand some folks just cant tell a joke. Ya come off a smoking gig where you turn water into wine, and then tell an abstruse joke about the details of the wedding cake??


It's little wonder he hung with the guys rolleyes most if the time. He was the master of allegory and parable, and they were taking him illiterately. That's where fundamentalism takes over.

Oh, and BTW, I aint biting on that Peter dick bate, even in the humor thread! A Synonomic Humor Crutch if there ever was one!
Still, there was vocabulary education there. If you stop learning you are probably dead. I learned the term "groin ferret".
Tat


Edited by TatumAH (03/23/17 07:50 PM)
_________________________
There's nothing wrong with thinking
Except that it's lonesome work
sevil regit

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#299911 - 03/23/17 07:48 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: TatumAH]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3488
Loc: Orange County, California, USA
Originally Posted By: TatumAH
Jeez if ya love Honkus!


I like this bumper sticker:

HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS
TEXT WHILE DRIVING IF YOU WANT TO MEET HIM
_________________________
A feathered biped in the terminal part of the arm is equal in value to a pair of feathered bipeds in densely branched shrubbery.


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#299912 - 03/23/17 07:54 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
TatumAH Offline
newbie

Registered: 02/18/11
Posts: 368
Loc: Upstate NY
Originally Posted By: Golem
Originally Posted By: TatumAH
Jeez if ya love Honkus!


I like this bumper sticker:

HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS
TEXT WHILE DRIVING IF YOU WANT TO MEET HIM


Jeez I hate it when I set up a straight line and then someone takes the punch, while I edit for clarity!
Tat Bow
_________________________
There's nothing wrong with thinking
Except that it's lonesome work
sevil regit

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#299936 - 03/24/17 05:35 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: TatumAH]
TatumAH Offline
newbie

Registered: 02/18/11
Posts: 368
Loc: Upstate NY
This quickmeme ap looks like it has some possible humor applications!

Quickmeme

Tat
_________________________
There's nothing wrong with thinking
Except that it's lonesome work
sevil regit

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#299949 - 03/24/17 09:47 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: TatumAH]
TatumAH Offline
newbie

Registered: 02/18/11
Posts: 368
Loc: Upstate NY
Paul Ryan recent quote: The reason I feel so good about this is because the President has become such a good closer!
Tat ROTFMOL
_________________________
There's nothing wrong with thinking
Except that it's lonesome work
sevil regit

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#300365 - 04/03/17 09:13 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3488
Loc: Orange County, California, USA
_________________________
A feathered biped in the terminal part of the arm is equal in value to a pair of feathered bipeds in densely branched shrubbery.


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#300404 - 04/05/17 01:26 AM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3488
Loc: Orange County, California, USA
_________________________
A feathered biped in the terminal part of the arm is equal in value to a pair of feathered bipeds in densely branched shrubbery.


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