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#230048 - 07/21/12 01:06 AM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
numan Offline
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Registered: 08/06/08
Posts: 10853
Loc: What! Me Worry?
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The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools -- Herbert Spencer

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#230104 - 07/21/12 04:25 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
numan Offline
veteran

Registered: 08/06/08
Posts: 10853
Loc: What! Me Worry?
_________________________
The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools -- Herbert Spencer

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#230253 - 07/22/12 04:59 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
numan Offline
veteran

Registered: 08/06/08
Posts: 10853
Loc: What! Me Worry?
_________________________
The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools -- Herbert Spencer

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#230268 - 07/22/12 06:22 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
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Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

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#230269 - 07/22/12 06:32 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Ozymanithrax Offline
member

Registered: 04/11/11
Posts: 1347
Loc: California
Husband Store
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.


'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.


She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:




Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.


She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:


Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floorhas wives that love sex.

The second floorhas wives that love sex and have money and like beer
The third, fourth, fifthand sixthfloors have never been visited.
_________________________
“If you think you've got an inside track to absolute truth, you become doctrinaire, humorless and intellectually constipated." Saul Alinskey

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#230309 - 07/23/12 02:37 AM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
logtroll Offline
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Registered: 04/26/10
Posts: 10145
Loc: One of the Mexicos
Originally Posted By: Golem

Haha! I have a cat that does that! Every open box has to be sat in.
_________________________
“You never change things by fighting the existing reality.
To change something, build a new model that makes the old model obsolete.”
– R. Buckminster Fuller

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#230313 - 07/23/12 03:17 AM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: logtroll]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA
Originally Posted By: logtroll

Haha! I have a cat that does that! Every open box has to be sat in.

Remember when you came home from the grocery store? You would empty the grocery bags. You might drop those bags on the floor. When you went to pick a bag up, it would be strangely heavy.

Also, you would be in the kitchen and when you used your can opener - whether or not it was manual or electric - a four legged feline critter would just happen to stroll in.

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#230363 - 07/23/12 02:45 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
numan Offline
veteran

Registered: 08/06/08
Posts: 10853
Loc: What! Me Worry?
_________________________
The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools -- Herbert Spencer

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#230379 - 07/23/12 04:28 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

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#230386 - 07/23/12 05:18 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
numan Offline
veteran

Registered: 08/06/08
Posts: 10853
Loc: What! Me Worry?
_________________________
The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools -- Herbert Spencer

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