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#234429 - 08/24/12 12:30 AM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Phil Hoskins Offline
Administrator
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 06/07/04
Posts: 21134
Loc: West Hollywood, CA
Amen!
ThumbsUp
_________________________
Life is a banquet -- and most poor suckers are starving to death -- Auntie Mame
You are born naked and everything else is drag - RuPaul

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#234430 - 08/24/12 12:42 AM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3696
Loc: Orange County, California, USA
This guy goes to the doctor and says to him, "Doctor, I don't know what's wrong with me but every time I fart it sounds like the word 'Honda'."

"That's interesting. Never heard of anything like that before. Do you think you could fart for me?" says the doctor.

The guy says, "Sure." He farts and sure enough the doctor hears, "Honda."

After several attempts to figure out what's wrong with this guy the doctor runs out of ideas. He sends him to all sorts of stomach specialists and none of them can figure out why this guy's farts say, "Honda." It is a completely out-of-this-world medical condition.

Finally, as a last resort the doctors think they should send the man to a dentist.

After explaining the problem to the dentist, the dentist opens up the guy's mouth and examines it.

The dentist says "A-ha! I have solved the problem."

The patient says "What is it? What is it? Please tell me doc."

The dentist replies "Well, sir, you have an abscess tooth."

The guy says "Yeah. So what has that got to do with my farts?"

The dentist replies, "Can't you see? Abscess makes the fart go 'Honda'."

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#234433 - 08/24/12 12:57 AM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: numan]
pondering_it_all Offline
veteran

Registered: 02/27/06
Posts: 7618
Loc: North San Diego County
Quote:
Human subcultures are nested fractally.


It's turtles all the way down!

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#234474 - 08/24/12 06:18 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3696
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

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#234508 - 08/25/12 02:47 AM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3696
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

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#234531 - 08/25/12 04:11 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3696
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

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#234533 - 08/25/12 04:26 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3696
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

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#234553 - 08/25/12 06:48 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
numan Offline
veteran

Registered: 08/06/08
Posts: 10853
Loc: What! Me Worry?
'
Everyone knows the story of God creating the world in 6 days, and resting on the 7th....Well on the 8th day, God and the angel Gabriel were looking down on the world, and God says to Gabriel "I am happy with my creating Gabriel, so happy, in fact, that today I will create the best land in the world, and I will call this land Canada. Oh Gabriel, it will be most beautiful. I will give it tall majestic mountains, and wide open prairies....I will give it not 1, not even 2, but 3 oceans....I will cover this land in rich green forests, deep blue lakes, crystal clear rivers and beautiful wild life for them to enjoy....I will let them experience all 4 seasons, and I will populate this land with all different types of people....Nothing but the kindest, gentlest, most caring people in the world....And they shall be known as Canadians....These Canadians will be known around the world for their friendliness, and compassion for others, and will be well respected by all....They will rise up in the face of tyranny, and help crush evil that threatens the world. They will be intellegent, and use this intellegence for the good of the world...." God keeps going on like this for awhile....and by this time Gabriel has become quite worried, so finally he says...."God, I don't mean to question you, but don't you think that you may be giving these Canadians a little to much?".....God looks upon Gabriel and smiles, then says, "Don't worry, Gabriel....Wait till you see the neighbours I am giving them!"
_________________________
The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools -- Herbert Spencer

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#234616 - 08/26/12 04:45 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3696
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

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#234643 - 08/26/12 08:58 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3696
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

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