Current Topics
"For Profit"
by jgw
0 seconds ago
Is it too soon to be talking 2020?
by Greger
Today at 04:13 PM
David Koch is dead
by NW Ponderer
Today at 02:47 PM
Cuccinelli vs Lazarus
by NW Ponderer
Today at 02:27 PM
Voting
by Greger
Today at 04:22 AM
Roundtable for Summer 2019
by logtroll
Today at 12:15 AM
Retired ? Is it what you thought it would be?
by Jeffery J. Haas
Yesterday at 07:00 PM
College debt
by Mellowicious
08/21/19 08:53 PM
What if making a public threat....?
by Mellowicious
08/21/19 06:04 PM
Daimler starts first Freightliner eCascadia all-electric semi truck deliveries
by NW Ponderer
08/21/19 03:01 PM
Global warming predictions
by logtroll
08/21/19 02:44 PM
The Departed - 2019
by Jeffery J. Haas
08/21/19 12:36 AM
Must Watch Epoch Times
by NW Ponderer
08/20/19 04:20 PM
The Social Credit System
by logtroll
08/20/19 01:31 AM
Senate activity
by jgw
08/19/19 10:20 PM
Good bye?
by Greger
08/19/19 05:13 PM
The Debate: Is America’s future capitalist or socialist?
by Greger
08/19/19 04:01 PM
Moscow Mitch, eruption at Salt Lake...
by pondering_it_all
08/19/19 01:13 AM
And we're off and running!
by pondering_it_all
08/19/19 12:57 AM
Candidate suggestions....
by pdx rick
08/18/19 09:15 PM
Forum Stats
6277 Members
59 Forums
16657 Topics
288088 Posts

Max Online: 294 @ 12/06/17 12:57 AM
Google Adsense
Page 27 of 166 < 1 2 ... 25 26 27 28 29 ... 165 166 >
Topic Options
#234429 - 08/24/12 12:30 AM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Phil Hoskins Offline
Administrator
Bionic Scribe

Registered: 06/07/04
Posts: 21134
Loc: West Hollywood, CA
Amen!
ThumbsUp
_________________________
Life is a banquet -- and most poor suckers are starving to death -- Auntie Mame
You are born naked and everything else is drag - RuPaul

Top
#234430 - 08/24/12 12:42 AM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA
This guy goes to the doctor and says to him, "Doctor, I don't know what's wrong with me but every time I fart it sounds like the word 'Honda'."

"That's interesting. Never heard of anything like that before. Do you think you could fart for me?" says the doctor.

The guy says, "Sure." He farts and sure enough the doctor hears, "Honda."

After several attempts to figure out what's wrong with this guy the doctor runs out of ideas. He sends him to all sorts of stomach specialists and none of them can figure out why this guy's farts say, "Honda." It is a completely out-of-this-world medical condition.

Finally, as a last resort the doctors think they should send the man to a dentist.

After explaining the problem to the dentist, the dentist opens up the guy's mouth and examines it.

The dentist says "A-ha! I have solved the problem."

The patient says "What is it? What is it? Please tell me doc."

The dentist replies "Well, sir, you have an abscess tooth."

The guy says "Yeah. So what has that got to do with my farts?"

The dentist replies, "Can't you see? Abscess makes the fart go 'Honda'."

Top
#234433 - 08/24/12 12:57 AM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: numan]
pondering_it_all Offline
veteran

Registered: 02/27/06
Posts: 8657
Loc: North San Diego County
Quote:
Human subcultures are nested fractally.


It's turtles all the way down!

Top
#234474 - 08/24/12 06:18 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

Top
#234508 - 08/25/12 02:47 AM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

Top
#234531 - 08/25/12 04:11 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

Top
#234533 - 08/25/12 04:26 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

Top
#234553 - 08/25/12 06:48 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
numan Offline
veteran

Registered: 08/06/08
Posts: 10853
Loc: What! Me Worry?
'
Everyone knows the story of God creating the world in 6 days, and resting on the 7th....Well on the 8th day, God and the angel Gabriel were looking down on the world, and God says to Gabriel "I am happy with my creating Gabriel, so happy, in fact, that today I will create the best land in the world, and I will call this land Canada. Oh Gabriel, it will be most beautiful. I will give it tall majestic mountains, and wide open prairies....I will give it not 1, not even 2, but 3 oceans....I will cover this land in rich green forests, deep blue lakes, crystal clear rivers and beautiful wild life for them to enjoy....I will let them experience all 4 seasons, and I will populate this land with all different types of people....Nothing but the kindest, gentlest, most caring people in the world....And they shall be known as Canadians....These Canadians will be known around the world for their friendliness, and compassion for others, and will be well respected by all....They will rise up in the face of tyranny, and help crush evil that threatens the world. They will be intellegent, and use this intellegence for the good of the world...." God keeps going on like this for awhile....and by this time Gabriel has become quite worried, so finally he says...."God, I don't mean to question you, but don't you think that you may be giving these Canadians a little to much?".....God looks upon Gabriel and smiles, then says, "Don't worry, Gabriel....Wait till you see the neighbours I am giving them!"
_________________________
The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools -- Herbert Spencer

Top
#234616 - 08/26/12 04:45 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

Top
#234643 - 08/26/12 08:58 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

Top
Page 27 of 166 < 1 2 ... 25 26 27 28 29 ... 165 166 >

Who's Online
1 registered (jgw), 32 Guests and 0 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
HumblePi, Blenderfox, Flukeake, Contact Form, Jamesmen
6277 Registered Users
A2