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#256577 - 05/04/13 01:12 AM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Ardy Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 12/22/05
Posts: 12010
Loc: San Jose, Ca USA
Funny as heck

A few years ago we got a little kitten

my wife brought home some ahi (raw tuna)

I was starting to eat the tuna
and the (little) kitty climbed me at light speed
I didn't even see her coming ROTFMOL
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"It's not a lie if you believe it." -- George Costanza
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves. --Bertrand Russel

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#256599 - 05/04/13 08:03 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

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#256627 - 05/05/13 03:34 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

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#256635 - 05/05/13 05:35 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Ted Remington Offline
old hand

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 4939
Reminds me of the time Pancho Villa was warring with the US Army along the Rio Grande. He got word that the US was sending Monitor-like shallow draft gunboats (think swift boats) up the Rio Grande to attack his stronghold.

At a meeting with his lieutenants to discuss strategy, one of his aides, a former naval person, suggested scuttling garbage scows at the mouth of the Rio Grande to blockade the river. Villa sneered, "Barges? Barges? We don't need no sinking barges."
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#256636 - 05/05/13 05:57 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

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#256638 - 05/05/13 06:04 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Ted Remington]
logtroll Offline
veteran

Registered: 04/26/10
Posts: 10282
Loc: One of the Mexicos
Originally Posted By: Ted Remington
Reminds me of the time Pancho Villa was warring with the US Army along the Rio Grande. He got word that the US was sending Monitor-like shallow draft gunboats (think swift boats) up the Rio Grande to attack his stronghold.

At a meeting with his lieutenants to discuss strategy, one of his aides, a former naval person, suggested scuttling garbage scows at the mouth of the Rio Grande to blockade the river. Villa sneered, "Barges? Barges? We don't need no sinking barges."

(Tresure of the Sierra) Madre!!
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“You never change things by fighting the existing reality.
To change something, build a new model that makes the old model obsolete.”
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#256640 - 05/05/13 07:44 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

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#256746 - 05/08/13 11:28 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Phil Hoskins Offline
Administrator
Bionic Scribe

Registered: 06/07/04
Posts: 21134
Loc: West Hollywood, CA

A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text:

"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.

If you are laughing, send me your smile.

If you are eating, send me a bite.

If you are drinking send me a sip.

If you are crying, send me your tears.

I love you!"



The husband, typically, non - romantic, replied:

"I am on the toilet. Please advise."



Kinda' brings tears to your eyes, doesn't it?
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Life is a banquet -- and most poor suckers are starving to death -- Auntie Mame
You are born naked and everything else is drag - RuPaul

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#256765 - 05/09/13 07:59 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Phil Hoskins]
Phil Hoskins Offline
Administrator
Bionic Scribe

Registered: 06/07/04
Posts: 21134
Loc: West Hollywood, CA
_________________________
Life is a banquet -- and most poor suckers are starving to death -- Auntie Mame
You are born naked and everything else is drag - RuPaul

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#256768 - 05/09/13 08:55 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA


Edited by Golem (05/10/13 05:54 PM)
Edit Reason: New link

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