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#284209 - 01/07/16 02:30 AM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA
Heisenberg, Schrödinger, and Ohm are driving together in a car.

A cop pulls them over.

"Do you know how fast you were going back there?" the cop asks.

"No, but I know exactly where we are," replies Heisenberg.

"I clocked you going 85 mph," says the cop.

Heisenberg bangs the steering wheel. "Now we're lost!"

The cop gets suspicious. He searches the car. "Hey, do you know there's a dead cat in the trunk?"

"We do now, you jerk!" exclaims Schrödinger.

The cop decides to arrest the men.

Ohm resists.

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#284218 - 01/07/16 08:35 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA
35 Movies That Completely Change When You Remove One Letter.

1. Pup Fiction - A puppy moves to the big city to become a writer.

2. The 4 Year Old Virgin - A story about a normal kid.

3. A New Hoe - Luke Skywalker gets a new tool for farming.

4. Carface - Al Pacino stars as a man who has botched plastic surgery and now has a grill from a 1978 Buick Roadmaster as a face.

5. Pollo 13 - Tom Hanks trains a bunch of chickens to go to the moon.

6. Men - Hugh Jackman and Patrick Stewart star as completely normal human beings.

7. 28 Days late - A story of an unexpected pregnancy.

8. Mr. & Mrs. Sith - A force wielding husband and wife try to get along in modern day Milwaukee.

9. Dogeball - Wow. Very sports. Movie good. Much comedy.

10. Itchcock - A documentary about STD's that affect men.

11. Fat & Furious - It's just a 3-hour one-take video of a 12-year old kid playing Call of Duty

12. Dude, Here's My Car - After a crazy night, Ashton Kutcher and Sean William Scott decide to leave their place, only to find that the car is exactly where they had parked it the previous day.

13. The Bi Lebowski - Jeff Bridges stars as The Dude, a man who loves women, men and bowling.

14. Need for Seed - Old farmer travels the land in search for seeds to save his farm and lives of his hungry family.

15. Silence of the Labs - How far will a man go to shut up his neighbor's barking dogs.

16. Me in Black - All about me. In black.

17. Shaun 0 The Dead - The same thing, only intensely Irish.

18. 12 Years A Slav - It's a documentary about a family moving to a Slavic nation for 12 years.

19. Tar Wars - The story of the intense rivalry between road work contractors.

20. Aging Bull - The sad story of an elderly bovine.

21. Jurassic Par - Jeff Goldblum and company have to play across the ultimate golf course hazard.

22. Finding Emo - A man goes on a search for a neighboring emo.

23. American Pi - four frustrated high schoolers take a vow to overcome their math difficulties.

24. The Princess Ride - All about what happens after the wedding.

25. One With The Wind - A man finally accepts and learns to live with the wind.

26. Oy Story - A movie about the ins and outs of being a Jewish Mother, raising kids, and dealing with a husband in a tumultuous world.

27. Casio Royale - Almost 3 hours of nothing but piano and synthesizer performances.

28. Raveheart - Documentary following Scottish soldiers in the 1280s and 1290s and their antics on the post battle club scene.

29. Arg - Ben Affleck plays a former CIA super-spy that travels to Somalia to become a pirate.

30. Despicable M - Judi Dench does some nasty things

31. Men Girls - You get the picture.

32. West Side Tory - a homophobic member of the British Conservative Party gets lost in London's West End and finds out what it truly means to be gay.

33. Lady and the Ramp - About a woman confined to a wheelchair and her desperate struggle to climb a disability ramp.

34. Fight Cub - A movie about the struggles of a bear cub to survive after his mother was killed.

35. Horton Hears a Ho - Horton becomes a pimp when he discovers months later that he has become blind. Not willing to give up the game, Horton relies solely on his sense of hearing to continue to pursue his passion.

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#284231 - 01/09/16 06:30 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

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#284240 - 01/10/16 03:44 AM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

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#284343 - 01/16/16 03:00 AM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

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#284348 - 01/16/16 03:04 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
logtroll Offline
veteran

Registered: 04/26/10
Posts: 10004
Loc: One of the Mexicos
Originally Posted By: Golem
I almost choked to death laughing!
_________________________
“You never change things by fighting the existing reality.
To change something, build a new model that makes the old model obsolete.”
– R. Buckminster Fuller

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#284372 - 01/18/16 03:11 AM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

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#284425 - 01/21/16 07:18 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

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#284621 - 02/03/16 11:20 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA
Giorgio A. Tsoukalos Behind the Scenes of Our Super Secret Commercial | 2016 Taco Bell

Quote:
Try Taco Bell's new ----- It's ----- of ----- and it's totally -----. Just ask Alien Expert Giorgio Tsoukalos.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsEs5L9QMec


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#284651 - 02/05/16 10:26 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

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