Current Topics
The Maximum Wage
by Hamish Howl
Today at 06:13 PM
Burn and Destroy
by Hamish Howl
Today at 06:11 PM
RoundTable - SPRING 2020
by Hamish Howl
Today at 05:20 PM
First Bernie Sanders Thread 2020
by logtroll
Today at 01:23 PM
Is it too soon to be talking 2020?
by perotista
Today at 11:38 AM
A Thought Experiment about COVID-19
by pondering_it_all
Today at 05:48 AM
covid-19 cure
by pondering_it_all
Today at 05:25 AM
An unexpected cure for COVID-19?
by pdx rick
Today at 03:19 AM
The CFO Act
by jgw
Yesterday at 07:16 PM
When police join a community, great things happen
by jgw
Yesterday at 06:48 PM
The Far-Right's Civil War aka "boogaloo"
by pondering_it_all
Yesterday at 06:18 PM
Anonymous dumps a treasure trove of docs
by Greger
06/02/20 04:47 PM
Edward Snowden Interview
by danarhea
06/01/20 03:45 AM
The Unmasking of Michael Flynn
by Irked
05/31/20 05:30 PM
Michigan Rep. Justin Amash Takes Step Toward Libertarian Presidential Bid
by Greger
05/30/20 07:21 PM
Trump may be ahead!
by rporter314
05/29/20 01:29 PM
Is there a free market solution for the pandemic and economic collapse?
by Greger
05/25/20 08:59 PM
Genius: how to make of a surgical mask, an N95-equivalent
by GreatNewsTonight
05/25/20 03:51 AM
The Way We Were
by Jeffery J. Haas
05/25/20 12:46 AM
What's for dinner?
by GreatNewsTonight
05/24/20 08:18 PM
Forum Stats
6292 Members
60 Forums
16922 Topics
300274 Posts

Max Online: 294 @ 12/06/17 12:57 AM
Google Adsense
Page 114 of 166 < 1 2 ... 112 113 114 115 116 ... 165 166 >
Topic Options
Rate This Topic
#274799 - 11/01/14 12:57 AM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Ken Condon]
logtroll Offline
veteran

Registered: 04/26/10
Posts: 10158
Loc: One of the Mexicos
Was there ever a wrong place at the right time? Hmm
_________________________
“You never change things by fighting the existing reality.
To change something, build a new model that makes the old model obsolete.”
– R. Buckminster Fuller

Top
#274800 - 11/01/14 03:53 AM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: logtroll]
beechhouse Offline
stranger

Registered: 08/10/07
Posts: 218
Loc: United States
Originally Posted By: logtroll
Was there ever a wrong place at the right time? Hmm


That is exactly where superheroes go to foil the nefarious evil plots of the bad guys.

Top
#274802 - 11/01/14 12:21 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: beechhouse]
logtroll Offline
veteran

Registered: 04/26/10
Posts: 10158
Loc: One of the Mexicos
Originally Posted By: beechhouse
Originally Posted By: logtroll
Was there ever a wrong place at the right time? Hmm
That is exactly where superheroes go to foil the nefarious evil plots of the bad guys.
I'd like a few private moments, if you all will indulge me, while my mind is blowing.
_________________________
“You never change things by fighting the existing reality.
To change something, build a new model that makes the old model obsolete.”
– R. Buckminster Fuller

Top
#274810 - 11/01/14 10:45 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

Top
#274820 - 11/02/14 05:03 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Phil Hoskins Offline
Administrator
Bionic Scribe

Registered: 06/07/04
Posts: 21134
Loc: West Hollywood, CA
Penis Surgery...*

*A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.*

*The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.
Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the
freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything,
however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."*

*The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have $9000 in insurance
compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis.
They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch."*

*The man perks up.*

*"So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I
understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is
something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher
before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a
nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she
might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you
make a decision."*

*The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.*

*The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"*
*"Yes I have," says the man.*

*"And has she helped you make a decision?"*

*"Yes" says the man.*

*"What is your decision?" asks the doctor*

*"We're getting granite counter tops."*
_________________________
Life is a banquet -- and most poor suckers are starving to death -- Auntie Mame
You are born naked and everything else is drag - RuPaul

Top
#274821 - 11/02/14 05:11 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA
ROTFMOL

Top
#274827 - 11/02/14 10:17 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Phil Hoskins Offline
Administrator
Bionic Scribe

Registered: 06/07/04
Posts: 21134
Loc: West Hollywood, CA

SEX AND GOOD GRAMMAR.....On his 80th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a simple cure for erectile dysfunction! The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man. The old Indian gave him a potion and with a grip on his shoulder warned, ''This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say '1-2-3.' When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform for as long as you want."The man thanked the old Indian and as he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working. "Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,' he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men. His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"


And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle
_________________________
Life is a banquet -- and most poor suckers are starving to death -- Auntie Mame
You are born naked and everything else is drag - RuPaul

Top
#274828 - 11/03/14 12:47 AM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Jeffery J. Haas Offline
It's the Despair Quotient!
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 08/03/04
Posts: 15728
Loc: Whittier, California
I don't know why, but this just makes me laugh uncontrollably.
I guess I am easily amused.

_________________________
"The Best of the Leon Russell Festivals" DVD
deepfreezefilms.com

Top
#274840 - 11/04/14 04:46 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

Top
#274841 - 11/04/14 04:47 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Jeffery J. Haas]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA
Originally Posted By: Jeffery J. Haas
I don't know why, but this just makes me laugh uncontrollably.
I guess I am easily amused.

That makes two of us. ROTFMOL

Top
Page 114 of 166 < 1 2 ... 112 113 114 115 116 ... 165 166 >

Who's Online
0 registered (), 24 Guests and 0 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Superfly, GreatNewsTonight, danarhea, RoughDraft274, CPWILL
6292 Registered Users
A2