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#275795 - 01/08/15 02:21 PM Re: Round Table for January 2015! [Re: pdx rick]
Scoutgal Offline
Administrator
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 01/23/01
Posts: 27583
Loc: CA USA
Questions That Haunt Me Long after Halloween

Can you cry under water?
~~~~~~~
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
~~~~~~~
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
~~~~~~~
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
~~~~~~~
Why does a round pizza come in a square box ?
~~~~
What disease did cured ham actually have?
~~~~
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
~~~~
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
~~~~
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
~~~~
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
~~~~
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
~~~~
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
~~~~
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
~~~~
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat ?
~~~~
If Jimmy cracked corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
~~~~
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
~~~~
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
~~~~
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
~~~~
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
~~~~
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
~~~~
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
~~~~
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
~~~~
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in you?
~~~
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
_________________________
milk and Girl Scout cookies ;-)

Save your breath-You may need it to blow up your date.





Top
#275796 - 01/08/15 02:42 PM Re: Round Table for January 2015! [Re: logtroll]
logtroll Offline
veteran

Registered: 04/26/10
Posts: 8701
Loc: New Mexico (not old Mexico)
Originally Posted By: logtroll
Mitch McConnell is giving credit for last year's economy improvements to the new Republican controlled House and Senate.

He is also saying he's going to make the Senate run in a more reasonable fashion, like in the old days before the Democrats fooked it all up.

It doesn't look like he will be trusting honesty and integrity to be part of the solution...
Quote:
"We all know that one of the things the Senate is best at doing is not doing much. Why don't we get started?"
—Sen. Mitch McConnell
_________________________
"You can't fix a problem until you understand what the problem is." Logtroll

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#275798 - 01/08/15 02:49 PM Re: Round Table for January 2015! [Re: Scoutgal]
logtroll Offline
veteran

Registered: 04/26/10
Posts: 8701
Loc: New Mexico (not old Mexico)
Originally Posted By: Scoutgal
Questions That Haunt Me Long after Halloween

Can you cry under water?
~~~~~~~
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
~~~~~~~
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
~~~~~~~
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
~~~~~~~
Why does a round pizza come in a square box ?
~~~~
What disease did cured ham actually have?
~~~~
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
~~~~
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
~~~~
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
~~~~
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
~~~~
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
~~~~
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
~~~~
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
~~~~
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat ?
~~~~
If Jimmy cracked corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
~~~~
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
~~~~
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
~~~~
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
~~~~
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
~~~~
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
~~~~
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
~~~~
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
~~~~
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in you?
~~~
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
It's about time someone posed the important questions of the day - I think of these things all too often. Perhaps Scoutgal would start a thread for discussion of each in more detail? (The asteroid question I find to be most engrossing!)
_________________________
"You can't fix a problem until you understand what the problem is." Logtroll

Top
#275800 - 01/08/15 03:17 PM Re: Round Table for January 2015! [Re: Scoutgal]
Scoutgal Offline
Administrator
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 01/23/01
Posts: 27583
Loc: CA USA
Something a lot of people need to review...

_________________________
milk and Girl Scout cookies ;-)

Save your breath-You may need it to blow up your date.





Top
#275901 - 01/12/15 04:32 AM Re: Round Table for January 2015! [Re: NW Ponderer]
pdx rick Offline
Member
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 05/09/05
Posts: 40730
Loc: Puget Sound, WA


Gas is $1.99/gal here. smile

When it gets to be $1.85/gal, then that will be something. Because when I first moved to Portland on 09/25/14, gas was $3.71/gal. $1.85 will be exactly half the price.
_________________________
Contrarian, extraordinaire



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#275941 - 01/13/15 06:37 PM Re: Round Table for January 2015! [Re: pdx rick]
Scoutgal Offline
Administrator
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 01/23/01
Posts: 27583
Loc: CA USA


One of the best projected uses for drones. ThumbsUp
_________________________
milk and Girl Scout cookies ;-)

Save your breath-You may need it to blow up your date.





Top
#275942 - 01/13/15 06:48 PM Re: Round Table for January 2015! [Re: Scoutgal]
Scoutgal Offline
Administrator
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 01/23/01
Posts: 27583
Loc: CA USA


A centrifugal rocket-spectacular launch!
_________________________
milk and Girl Scout cookies ;-)

Save your breath-You may need it to blow up your date.





Top
#275943 - 01/13/15 07:02 PM Re: Round Table for January 2015! [Re: Scoutgal]
Scoutgal Offline
Administrator
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 01/23/01
Posts: 27583
Loc: CA USA
Late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in North Dakota asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.

But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, “Is the coming winter going to be cold?”

“It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold”, the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.

A week later, he called the National Weather Service again, “Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?”

“Yes”, the man at National Weather Service again replied, “it's going to be a very cold winter.”

The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again. “Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?” “Absolutely”, the man replied. “It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we've ever seen.”

“How can you be so sure?” the chief asked.

The weatherman replied, “The Indians are collecting a shitload of firewood.”
_________________________
milk and Girl Scout cookies ;-)

Save your breath-You may need it to blow up your date.





Top
#275944 - 01/13/15 07:24 PM Re: Round Table for January 2015! [Re: Scoutgal]
pdx rick Offline
Member
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 05/09/05
Posts: 40730
Loc: Puget Sound, WA
Originally Posted By: Scoutgal


One of the best projected uses for drones. ThumbsUp

Increase survival rate from 8% to 80% - and no traffic to weave through! smile
_________________________
Contrarian, extraordinaire



Top
#275945 - 01/13/15 07:26 PM Re: Round Table for January 2015! [Re: Scoutgal]
Scoutgal Offline
Administrator
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 01/23/01
Posts: 27583
Loc: CA USA
The boss was concerned that his employees weren't giving him enough respect,
So he tried an old fashioned method of persuasion:
He brought in a sign that said “I’m the Boss” and taped it to his door.


After lunch, he noticed someone had taped another sign under his:

"Your wife called-she wants her sign back!"
_________________________
milk and Girl Scout cookies ;-)

Save your breath-You may need it to blow up your date.





Top
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