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#301473 - 06/03/17 10:10 PM My dear wife
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3637
Loc: Orange County, California, USA
I'm sorry to drop such a downer on you

My dear wife of more than 30 years has terminal brain and bone cancer and has been moved to a board and care facility.

I love her so much. She is everything to me. I can't imagine life without her.

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#301478 - 06/03/17 11:57 PM Re: My dear wife [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3637
Loc: Orange County, California, USA
I had originally not wanted to post about this because I (1) It was private and (2) I didn't want to be accused of playing the Munchausen by proxy card. Unfortunately, this is all too real.

I like you folks and I consider you my friends.

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#301480 - 06/04/17 12:27 AM Re: My dear wife [Re: Golem]
pondering_it_all Offline
veteran

Registered: 02/27/06
Posts: 7094
Loc: North San Diego County
We are all your friends. It is hard to write this.

We all have seen death. Friends, parents, maybe children, maybe spouses or partners. It is inevitable: We all die, in the end. Some of us who are religious pray this never happen, but God's answer to that prayer is always: "No."

Now you have to be a mensch, not a golem. Make sure she has adequate pain meds. Tell her you love her everyday, several times a day. Hold her hand. Kiss her. If I can't die peacefully in my sleep, that's how I want to go: With somebody who loves me by my side.

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#301482 - 06/04/17 01:06 AM Re: My dear wife [Re: pondering_it_all]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3637
Loc: Orange County, California, USA
Originally Posted By: pondering_it_all
Tell her you love her everyday, several times a day. Hold her hand. Kiss her.

I've done that every day that we've been together.

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#301483 - 06/04/17 01:26 AM Re: My dear wife [Re: Golem]
Ken Condon Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 06/14/07
Posts: 3738
Loc: Eugene, OR
Mr. Golem:

I lost my dear wife of 41 years together on March 4th of last year. I still have not recovered from that trauma, although I am doing better as time goes on. Yet I think about her daily. And miss her so much.

My thoughts are with you and they shall continue to be. I know that pain all too well.

Ken
_________________________
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

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#301484 - 06/04/17 01:38 AM Re: My dear wife [Re: Golem]
Jeffery J. Haas Offline


Pooh-Bah

Registered: 08/03/04
Posts: 12726
Loc: Whittier, California
I had to go out and hug my wife while she was trying to plug in the fryer.
Of course the reaction was textbook: "Why are you getting all huggy-squeezy when I'm trying to do something?"

Golem, nobody I know will ever know how to deal with this, so I am not even going to try. Not because I don't have some evergreen baloney to shovel but because I know the idea of it all is incomprehensible.

Just know this, your grief is shared, so are your fears and so is your agony, because any of us who have been blessed with a wonderful partner has thought about it, and we've been at a loss for how to deal with it.
_________________________
The men the American public admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth. - H. L. Mencken

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#301485 - 06/04/17 02:23 AM Re: My dear wife [Re: Golem]
chunkstyle Offline
journeyman

Registered: 10/02/07
Posts: 658
My deepest sympathies Golem. Very sorry for what you have to go thru.

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#301487 - 06/04/17 03:00 AM Re: My dear wife [Re: Golem]
NW Ponderer Offline
Moderator
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 09/09/11
Posts: 15528
And know that we are with you.
_________________________
A well reasoned argument is like a diamond: impervious to corruption and crystal clear - and infinitely rarer.

Here, as elsewhere, people are outraged at what feels like a rigged game -- an economy that won't respond, a democracy that won't listen, and a financial sector that holds all the cards. - Robert Reich

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#301488 - 06/04/17 03:12 AM Re: My dear wife [Re: NW Ponderer]
Phil Hoskins Offline
Administrator
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 06/07/04
Posts: 21134
Loc: West Hollywood, CA
Just saw this thread. So sorry for your wife and for you. Yes, we offer our love and are here for you.
_________________________
Life is a banquet -- and most poor suckers are starving to death -- Auntie Mame
You are born naked and everything else is drag - RuPaul

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#301489 - 06/04/17 03:17 AM Re: My dear wife [Re: Golem]
pdx rick Offline
Member
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 05/09/05
Posts: 40554
Loc: Puget Sound, WA

Sorry to read about your wife's condition. My thoughts are with you Golem. Bow
_________________________
Contrarian, extraordinaire



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#301491 - 06/04/17 04:03 AM Re: My dear wife [Re: Golem]
Ujest Shurly Offline
stranger

Registered: 10/16/16
Posts: 232
Loc: Michigan, USA
In life there is death and in death there is life.

May she find peace and you find comfort.

Live long and prosper
_________________________
Vote 2018

Life is like a PB&J sandwich
The older you get, the moldery and crustier you get.

Now, get off my grass!

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#301495 - 06/04/17 11:25 AM Re: My dear wife [Re: Golem]
logtroll Offline
veteran

Registered: 04/26/10
Posts: 8630
Loc: New Mexico (not old Mexico)
I'm feeling for you, Golem.
_________________________
"You can't fix a problem until you understand what the problem is." Logtroll

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#301496 - 06/04/17 02:34 PM Re: My dear wife [Re: Ken Condon]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3637
Loc: Orange County, California, USA
Originally Posted By: Ken Condon
Mr. Golem:

I lost my dear wife of 41 years together on March 4th of last year. I still have not recovered from that trauma, although I am doing better as time goes on. Yet I think about her daily. And miss her so much.

My thoughts are with you and they shall continue to be. I know that pain all too well.

Ken

Ken, I am so sorry.

(I too am a Ken)

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#301497 - 06/04/17 02:36 PM Re: My dear wife [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3637
Loc: Orange County, California, USA
To all of you: Thank for for your well wishes. They mean a great deal to me.

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#301499 - 06/04/17 03:17 PM Re: My dear wife [Re: Golem]
Spag-hetti Offline
member

Registered: 09/10/08
Posts: 1586
Loc: Middle, USA
Oh, Golem, I am so sorry.

My husband of 42 years checked into the hospital for tests near Thanksgiving in 2012. He seemed fine at first, but rapidly went downhill. He passed away on Christmas Eve.

I do know how you feel, and it's awful. The pain is a heavy weight, and the knowledge that, with time, it will slowly lighten, doesn't ease it a bit right now.

Your humor as lightened our hearts over the years. I wish I could lighten yours now.

Hang tough, guy. Hang tough.
_________________________
Just a Missouri school teacher ... stubborn as a mule and addicted to logic.

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#301504 - 06/04/17 03:54 PM Re: My dear wife [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3637
Loc: Orange County, California, USA
Spag-hetti, I am so sorry for your loss.

As for hanging tough, I'm having a difficult time there. My wife has always been the strong one.

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#301727 - 06/17/17 07:05 PM Re: My dear wife [Re: Golem]
Phil Hoskins Offline
Administrator
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 06/07/04
Posts: 21134
Loc: West Hollywood, CA
Hoping that you and your wife are doing well as can be expected.
_________________________
Life is a banquet -- and most poor suckers are starving to death -- Auntie Mame
You are born naked and everything else is drag - RuPaul

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#302244 - 07/12/17 02:16 PM Re: My dear wife [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3637
Loc: Orange County, California, USA
My wife passed away yesterday. I was by her side.

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#302246 - 07/12/17 02:51 PM Re: My dear wife [Re: Golem]
NW Ponderer Offline
Moderator
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 09/09/11
Posts: 15528
I'm truly sorry, my friend.
_________________________
A well reasoned argument is like a diamond: impervious to corruption and crystal clear - and infinitely rarer.

Here, as elsewhere, people are outraged at what feels like a rigged game -- an economy that won't respond, a democracy that won't listen, and a financial sector that holds all the cards. - Robert Reich

Top
#302247 - 07/12/17 02:53 PM Re: My dear wife [Re: Golem]
Ujest Shurly Offline
stranger

Registered: 10/16/16
Posts: 232
Loc: Michigan, USA
Sorry

Deepest condolences
_________________________
Vote 2018

Life is like a PB&J sandwich
The older you get, the moldery and crustier you get.

Now, get off my grass!

Top
#302251 - 07/12/17 04:09 PM Re: My dear wife [Re: Golem]
Kaine Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 08/25/04
Posts: 2131
Loc: Pennsylvania
So sorry to hear this Golem.
My most sincere condolences go out to you and your family.

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#302253 - 07/12/17 04:51 PM Re: My dear wife [Re: Golem]
bigswede Offline
newbie

Registered: 03/25/16
Posts: 300
My deepest sympathies, Golem.

My wife and life companion of 42 years and myself are fighting the ailments of aging. Knock on wood no cancer yet, though we go on regular checkups. Friends have passed away in cancer, some fighting it to the bitter end, some just going quiet and passively accepting it.
_________________________
Cowardly men always plot to label Freedom as anarchy!

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#302257 - 07/12/17 05:25 PM Re: My dear wife [Re: Golem]
pdx rick Offline
Member
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 05/09/05
Posts: 40554
Loc: Puget Sound, WA



cry


Bow
_________________________
Contrarian, extraordinaire



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#302271 - 07/12/17 06:21 PM Re: My dear wife [Re: Golem]
pondering_it_all Offline
veteran

Registered: 02/27/06
Posts: 7094
Loc: North San Diego County
So sorry, Ken.

“The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal.” CS Lewis

Every life, from birth to death, is a great work of art.

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#302273 - 07/12/17 07:07 PM Re: My dear wife [Re: Golem]
Jeffery J. Haas Offline


Pooh-Bah

Registered: 08/03/04
Posts: 12726
Loc: Whittier, California
Dear Golem, I only know that you're not far from me but no matter how far, please know that we send our prayers, mine along with all the rest of the Ranters.
Words are such puny things sometimes and even though we idle away the hours spinning them here, they fail me now, because I can't begin to imagine the burden and the journey.
I only know that the journey eventually has an end, and while the burden never goes away, you find a way to carry it better.
Your heart, though broken now and forever, will expand and make room for peace, friendship and renewed life and love. Right now we all stand alongside you.
_________________________
The men the American public admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth. - H. L. Mencken

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