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#301473 - 06/03/17 10:10 PM My dear wife
Golem Offline

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3678
Loc: Orange County, California, USA
I'm sorry to drop such a downer on you

My dear wife of more than 30 years has terminal brain and bone cancer and has been moved to a board and care facility.

I love her so much. She is everything to me. I can't imagine life without her.

#301478 - 06/03/17 11:57 PM Re: My dear wife [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3678
Loc: Orange County, California, USA
I had originally not wanted to post about this because I (1) It was private and (2) I didn't want to be accused of playing the Munchausen by proxy card. Unfortunately, this is all too real.

I like you folks and I consider you my friends.

#301480 - 06/04/17 12:27 AM Re: My dear wife [Re: Golem]
pondering_it_all Offline

Registered: 02/27/06
Posts: 7446
Loc: North San Diego County
We are all your friends. It is hard to write this.

We all have seen death. Friends, parents, maybe children, maybe spouses or partners. It is inevitable: We all die, in the end. Some of us who are religious pray this never happen, but God's answer to that prayer is always: "No."

Now you have to be a mensch, not a golem. Make sure she has adequate pain meds. Tell her you love her everyday, several times a day. Hold her hand. Kiss her. If I can't die peacefully in my sleep, that's how I want to go: With somebody who loves me by my side.

#301482 - 06/04/17 01:06 AM Re: My dear wife [Re: pondering_it_all]
Golem Offline

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3678
Loc: Orange County, California, USA
Originally Posted By: pondering_it_all
Tell her you love her everyday, several times a day. Hold her hand. Kiss her.

I've done that every day that we've been together.

#301483 - 06/04/17 01:26 AM Re: My dear wife [Re: Golem]
Ken Condon Offline

Registered: 06/14/07
Posts: 3795
Loc: Eugene, OR
Mr. Golem:

I lost my dear wife of 41 years together on March 4th of last year. I still have not recovered from that trauma, although I am doing better as time goes on. Yet I think about her daily. And miss her so much.

My thoughts are with you and they shall continue to be. I know that pain all too well.

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

#301484 - 06/04/17 01:38 AM Re: My dear wife [Re: Golem]
Jeffery J. Haas Offline


Registered: 08/03/04
Posts: 13027
Loc: Whittier, California
I had to go out and hug my wife while she was trying to plug in the fryer.
Of course the reaction was textbook: "Why are you getting all huggy-squeezy when I'm trying to do something?"

Golem, nobody I know will ever know how to deal with this, so I am not even going to try. Not because I don't have some evergreen baloney to shovel but because I know the idea of it all is incomprehensible.

Just know this, your grief is shared, so are your fears and so is your agony, because any of us who have been blessed with a wonderful partner has thought about it, and we've been at a loss for how to deal with it.
"The Left ones think I'm Right, the Right ones think I'm wrong."

----Leon Russell - "Magic Mirror"

#301485 - 06/04/17 02:23 AM Re: My dear wife [Re: Golem]
chunkstyle Offline

Registered: 10/02/07
Posts: 744
My deepest sympathies Golem. Very sorry for what you have to go thru.

#301487 - 06/04/17 03:00 AM Re: My dear wife [Re: Golem]
NW Ponderer Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 09/09/11
Posts: 15830
And know that we are with you.
A well reasoned argument is like a diamond: impervious to corruption and crystal clear - and infinitely rarer.

Here, as elsewhere, people are outraged at what feels like a rigged game -- an economy that won't respond, a democracy that won't listen, and a financial sector that holds all the cards. - Robert Reich

#301488 - 06/04/17 03:12 AM Re: My dear wife [Re: NW Ponderer]
Phil Hoskins Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 06/07/04
Posts: 21134
Loc: West Hollywood, CA
Just saw this thread. So sorry for your wife and for you. Yes, we offer our love and are here for you.
Life is a banquet -- and most poor suckers are starving to death -- Auntie Mame
You are born naked and everything else is drag - RuPaul

#301489 - 06/04/17 03:17 AM Re: My dear wife [Re: Golem]
pdx rick Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 05/09/05
Posts: 40810
Loc: Puget Sound, WA

Sorry to read about your wife's condition. My thoughts are with you Golem. Bow
Contrarian, extraordinaire

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