Like 15 year old boys would never think of masturbation unless they read Complaint.
Back when I was in High School anybody who didn't masturbate was beyond weird. Probably involved with incest or farm animals!
You have to give at least equal credit to "The Monkey".
"He wakes up in the morning, ****s all over Twitter, ****s all over us, ****s all over his staff, then hits golf balls."
---Congressman Peter King