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#305093 - 01/15/18 11:07 AM Re: Round Table for January, 2018 [Re: NW Ponderer]
pondering_it_all Offline
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Registered: 02/27/06
Posts: 7933
Loc: North San Diego County
I was just pondering some theological topics and I found two interesting things:

1) Most Protestant sects believe that every dead body just rots and nobody goes to heaven before Jesus comes back. So every time a Protestant tells you someone dead is in Heaven looking down on you they are heretical.

2) When Jesus DOES come back and we have Judgement day, all the previous dead get judged first. (This is actually in the Bible and is very explicit and nowhere contradicted.) So you get to wait in line. At the END of the line. If each judgement takes 5 minutes to review every word you spoke, every sin, every good deed, etc. (Not an unreasonable time for this level of judgement for how you will spend eternity.) The line will take just about 1 million years.

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#305114 - 01/15/18 11:55 PM Re: Round Table for January, 2018 [Re: pondering_it_all]
Greger Offline

Pooh-Bah

Registered: 11/24/06
Posts: 14284
Loc: Florida
Ah, but PIA, those Pearly Gates are wide enough to accommodate many lines. They've been planning this massive emigration for all eternity so I expect there are hundreds, if not thousands, of heavenly clericals of the winged class getting their ethereal paperwork in order and preparing for the day(and it's coming soon) when all those folks come knocking on heaven's door....knock knock knockin' on heaven's door.....
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#305115 - 01/16/18 12:47 AM Re: Round Table for January, 2018 [Re: NW Ponderer]
NW Ponderer Offline
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Registered: 09/09/11
Posts: 16236
I expect the line is no longer than a week's wait. It's in Genesis. It only took 6 days to generate the universe. God days. Processing can't take that long!
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#305116 - 01/16/18 01:31 AM Re: Round Table for January, 2018 [Re: NW Ponderer]
pondering_it_all Offline
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Registered: 02/27/06
Posts: 7933
Loc: North San Diego County
It says Jesus does the judging, not surrogates. Just saying it's right there in the Bible. If He could do it all at the same time, why would the Bible mention the order of judging? It pretty directly says sequential, not simultaneous.

But waiting a million years might not be a big deal, if you can find some nice folks to wait with. At least they will be those who died at about the same time. Probably not your family unless you all died at the same time like in a bomb blast.

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#305123 - 01/16/18 05:54 AM Re: Round Table for January, 2018 [Re: NW Ponderer]
Jeffery J. Haas Offline


Pooh-Bah

Registered: 08/03/04
Posts: 13298
Loc: Whittier, California
Are these "people of faith"?

Teen’s Escape Leads to Discovery of 13 M...o Beds: Sheriff

I ask because Mummy and Daddy were running one of those private religious schools and my spidey sense is tingling, telling me that this has church-ey written all over it, and half those thirteen kids came from one or more of his daughters.



That almost beatific smile on Mom's face in the police photos tells me she's secretly relieved that the jig is finally up, and now her story can finally be told.

Let's hope she doesn't have a major case of Stepford/Stockholm Syndrome going on.
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#305124 - 01/16/18 06:01 AM Re: Round Table for January, 2018 [Re: NW Ponderer]
pondering_it_all Offline
veteran

Registered: 02/27/06
Posts: 7933
Loc: North San Diego County
Damn it! Just look at that guy's haircut! It screams basement full of kids in chains.
Folie à deux if I ever saw it.

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#305125 - 01/16/18 06:29 AM Re: Round Table for January, 2018 [Re: pondering_it_all]
Jeffery J. Haas Offline


Pooh-Bah

Registered: 08/03/04
Posts: 13298
Loc: Whittier, California
Originally Posted By: pondering_it_all
Damn it! Just look at that guy's haircut! It screams basement full of kids in chains.
Folie à deux if I ever saw it.


News story says all his male children had identical "bowl" haircuts too, and all the girls had to wear matching magenta long dresses.
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"He wakes up in the morning, ****s all over Twitter, ****s all over us, ****s all over his staff, then hits golf balls."
---Congressman Peter King

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#305131 - 01/16/18 08:05 PM Re: Round Table for January, 2018 [Re: Jeffery J. Haas]
Greger Offline

Pooh-Bah

Registered: 11/24/06
Posts: 14284
Loc: Florida
!
There's some serious bat-chit crazy going on here. Jeffery pegged them as godly folk of some sort. I'll take the imaginary narrative forward a notch and say that if they voted they probably didn't vote for Bernie.
But the world being what it is they'll turn out to be pagan democrats and I'll be hoist by my own petard so to speak....

These are some deeply disturbed individuals here, is it any wonder we tend to peg them as Christian conservatives? In our society these are the folks who are farthest removed from what the rest of us percieve as reality.
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"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."— Oscar Wilde

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#305132 - 01/16/18 08:06 PM Re: Round Table for January, 2018 [Re: Jeffery J. Haas]
Greger Offline

Pooh-Bah

Registered: 11/24/06
Posts: 14284
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: Jeffery J. Haas
Originally Posted By: pondering_it_all
Damn it! Just look at that guy's haircut! It screams basement full of kids in chains.
Folie à deux if I ever saw it.


News story says all his male children had identical "bowl" haircuts too, and all the girls had to wear matching magenta long dresses.


And that's a face that screams I GAVE THOSE HAIRCUTS!
_________________________
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."— Oscar Wilde

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#305193 - 01/20/18 01:27 AM Re: Round Table for January, 2018 [Re: Jeffery J. Haas]
pdx rick Offline
Member
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 05/09/05
Posts: 41041
Loc: Puget Sound, WA
Originally Posted By: Jeffery J. Haas
Are these "people of faith"?

Indeed. Plus they're 'home schoolers.'

It seems that religious nutivism and home schooling go hand-and-hand. Hmm
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