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#306894 - 06/03/18 07:03 PM Sorting it out
logtroll Offline
veteran

Registered: 04/26/10
Posts: 8891
Loc: New Mexico (not old Mexico)
I'm not sure how to talk about this...

A week ago I was introduced to a young man who was interested in helping at our small farm. He had just moved into a mobile home just up the road from the farm, owned by one of the farm LLC members (Jamie), who is trying to change the local poverty culture into one of more self sufficiency and less dependence on the mostly sorry mechanisms of bureaucratic assistance programs. This guy Frank has been a wanderer for the past four years, and made a deal to fix up the mobile home in exchange for free rent for awhile, and to give some help at the farm. Frank, a very understated 30 year-old redneck farm boy, originally from Iowa, then west Texas, told me on Thursday that he couldn't believe how things have fallen into place since he came to town, and that getting to work on the farm was better than his dreams. I was trying to get a good picture of his skills and potential for fitting in while lining him out on taking care of the irrigation needs (instead of my wife or me driving down a couple of times a day), and setting him up to plant an area for his own use.

Frank said he had been in the Marine Corps from 2010 - 2014, and I asked him what his specialty was, hoping he would say mechanic. But he said he was a machine gunner, expressing a noticeable sense of pride and excitement in the process. I assume he was in Iraq or Afghanistan, though the conversation wasn't long. I said I should get him a paintball machine gun and he could use it to "disinterest" the [censored] ATV trespassers who keep racing up the streambed along one side of the farm. We laughed about that a bit, then I gave him the landscape rake I had brought along that he wanted to use to plant a few rows of vegetables. He had been wandering in a 1980's 4WD Suburban with everything he owns in it, camping and hunting and fishing all around. Surprising to me, he had a substantial cache of vegetable seeds in there - I figured that was quirky, but definitely the right kind of quirky.

On Saturday morning my wife went down to water and plant some more and found that Frank had not watered on Friday. It's hot and dry and everything is just up, but nothing had suffered much. We did wonder at his reliability, though.

This morning we drove down to spread some mulch and do more planting and watering, and as I drove by Frank's mobile home there were three police cars with lights on and a number of people standing outside. I didn't stop or gawk, but I wondered if Frank had done something to his roommate (I was suspecting an element of PTSD to explain some of his odd history and behavior). About an hour later I got a call from Jamie who told me that Frank had shot and killed himself on Friday, probably not long after I left him there smiling with his armful of seed packets and the rake (he never planted anything).

I don't suppose we'll ever know, but I can't get the thought out of my mind that he couldn't reconcile his surprise good luck at finding his dream with whatever demons were plaguing him after his war experience.

I am also feeling an urge to rage against the arrogant f*cking a$$holes (BushCo) who think that war is some kind of legitimate tool for the advancement of their own psychotic ideologies.
_________________________
"You can't fix a problem until you understand what the problem is." Logtroll

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#306899 - 06/04/18 04:11 AM Re: Sorting it out [Re: logtroll]
Jeffery J. Haas Offline


Pooh-Bah

Registered: 08/03/04
Posts: 13298
Loc: Whittier, California
I am fresh out of words...I can't even compute.
This is so horrible frown
_________________________
"He wakes up in the morning, ****s all over Twitter, ****s all over us, ****s all over his staff, then hits golf balls."
---Congressman Peter King

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#306901 - 06/04/18 01:49 PM Re: Sorting it out [Re: Jeffery J. Haas]
logtroll Offline
veteran

Registered: 04/26/10
Posts: 8891
Loc: New Mexico (not old Mexico)
It certainly has the effect of casting a different light on the world, for a while, at least.
_________________________
"You can't fix a problem until you understand what the problem is." Logtroll

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#306904 - 06/04/18 08:02 PM Re: Sorting it out [Re: logtroll]
pondering_it_all Offline
veteran

Registered: 02/27/06
Posts: 7934
Loc: North San Diego County
Very sad. The VA needs to do a much better job of reaching out and finding vets with PTSD and other war-related problems. Chronic mental pain may be just as devastating as chronic physical pain. They need to get a lot of their guys on cannabis to cut down on their opiate, tranquilizer, and anti-depressant prescriptions. They need desensitization therapy to get some distance from their worst memories. Above all else, they need to reach and treat these guys (and gals) immediately instead of making them wait months or years to get into treatment.

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#306918 - 06/05/18 07:23 PM Re: Sorting it out [Re: logtroll]
jgw Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 05/22/06
Posts: 2143
Loc: Port Angeles, WA
If you google "ptsd ecstasy" you will get a LOT of replies. They basically boil down to the simple fact that they have found that ecstasy tends to lessen, or even cure, the problems associated with ptsd. Gov, and the VA, however, that being said, I have been told that the VA has been told not to ever give anybody one of them devil drugs. The interesting thing about ecstasy is that there have been no studies that have ever found a problem with that drug and there have been studies.

I guess it one of them drugs, not produced by the drug industry and illegal, and therefore banned. Perhaps the marijuana thing will loosen the grip of the drug warriors so they can actually fix a serious problem.

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#306920 - 06/05/18 08:40 PM Re: Sorting it out [Re: logtroll]
logtroll Offline
veteran

Registered: 04/26/10
Posts: 8891
Loc: New Mexico (not old Mexico)
My wife was down at the farm watering this afternoon and found that Frank left us his seeds, underneath one of the fruit trees.
_________________________
"You can't fix a problem until you understand what the problem is." Logtroll

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#306923 - 06/06/18 03:22 AM Re: Sorting it out [Re: jgw]
pdx rick Offline
Member
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 05/09/05
Posts: 41041
Loc: Puget Sound, WA
Originally Posted By: jgw
If you google "ptsd ecstasy" you will get a LOT of replies. They basically boil down to the simple fact that they have found that ecstasy tends to lessen, or even cure, the problems associated with ptsd.

On E, all you want to do is touch and be touched, love and be loved. smile

E also lowers barriers and quite often, you get so much raw human honesty and vulnerability, that it becomes too much. Hmm
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Contrarian, extraordinaire



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#306924 - 06/06/18 05:22 AM Re: Sorting it out [Re: logtroll]
Spag-hetti Offline
member

Registered: 09/10/08
Posts: 1662
Loc: Middle, USA
So sorry, Loggy.

Don't blame yourself. He gave you no clues. It's possible he wanted to leave when all was perfect.

It's hard.
_________________________
Just a Missouri school teacher ... stubborn as a mule and addicted to logic.

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#306926 - 06/06/18 06:29 PM Re: Sorting it out [Re: logtroll]
pondering_it_all Offline
veteran

Registered: 02/27/06
Posts: 7934
Loc: North San Diego County
E: That's probably the most effective desensitization therapy there is. But you don't just take E and go to a rave. It is a therapist-guided procedure where you take the E and then tell your most traumatic stories over and over again. I doubt it is pleasant!

It seems to work because normally remembering or telling about the traumatic events retraumatizes the teller. Every time you tell a story while on E, it doesn't so you can achieve some distance from the event. It's like somebody else suffered the trauma. It turns panic-inducing memories into something like remembering a scary movie you saw.

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#306929 - 06/06/18 08:19 PM Re: Sorting it out [Re: pondering_it_all]
Jeffery J. Haas Offline


Pooh-Bah

Registered: 08/03/04
Posts: 13298
Loc: Whittier, California
Originally Posted By: pondering_it_all
Very sad. The VA needs to do a much better job of reaching out and finding vets with PTSD and other war-related problems.


It is the level of outreach which seems to have missed this young man.
I wish it were possible to extend an outreach to every returning veteran, no matter their status, no matter their mood.
Just put them face to face with caring therapists who will encourage them to do an assessment, and offer the help if it is determined appropriate.

Automatic outreach to all returning veterans sounds expensive, but in the long run, it's not. But in any case, it's necessary.
We cannot afford to assume that returning veterans are going to signal for help if they need it, so we need to make sure that they go through the exit process with an expression of care extended to them, and an advisory that connects them to further care.

Loggy, I am still at a loss for what to say on this specific incident. Words are such puny things sometimes.
I read your story to Karen. It touched her deeply.
We both know how much you cared.
_________________________
"He wakes up in the morning, ****s all over Twitter, ****s all over us, ****s all over his staff, then hits golf balls."
---Congressman Peter King

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