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#306006 - 03/15/18 04:03 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA
Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!"

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."

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#306007 - 03/15/18 04:17 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

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#306196 - 03/30/18 07:50 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

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#306197 - 03/30/18 11:18 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
logtroll Offline
veteran

Registered: 04/26/10
Posts: 10253
Loc: One of the Mexicos
Trump is very inspirational, art wise.
_________________________
ďYou never change things by fighting the existing reality.
To change something, build a new model that makes the old model obsolete.Ē
Ė R. Buckminster Fuller

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#306246 - 04/05/18 12:49 AM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

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#306253 - 04/05/18 03:46 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
NW Ponderer Offline
Moderator
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 09/09/11
Posts: 17399
I read today that Trump now occupies the top four spots on the "Worst President" list. Apparently the change was intended to adjust the scale to more accurately assess Trump's status.

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#306254 - 04/05/18 04:52 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: NW Ponderer]
Ken Condon Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 06/14/07
Posts: 3880
Loc: Eugene, OR
Whereís the link?
_________________________
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

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#306255 - 04/05/18 07:20 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
NW Ponderer Offline
Moderator
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 09/09/11
Posts: 17399
I read it as I was writing it...

Also I really did hear today, it's not a "Murder" of crows unless someone can prove it.
_________________________
A well reasoned argument is like a diamond: impervious to corruption and crystal clear - and infinitely rarer.

Here, as elsewhere, people are outraged at what feels like a rigged game -- an economy that won't respond, a democracy that won't listen, and a financial sector that holds all the cards. - Robert Reich

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#306259 - 04/05/18 10:45 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: NW Ponderer]
TatumAH Offline
newbie

Registered: 02/18/11
Posts: 389
Loc: Upstate NY
It's all about intent!
Tat
_________________________
There's nothing wrong with thinking
Except that it's lonesome work
sevil regit

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#306263 - 04/06/18 06:46 AM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: TatumAH]
NW Ponderer Offline
Moderator
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 09/09/11
Posts: 17399
I started to write something along these lines to amuse myself, when I found this:

PLACES IíVE NEVER BEEN
I have been in many places, but Iíve never been in Cahoots.
Apparently, you canít go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

Iíve also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They donít have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and co-workers.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and Iím not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

Iíve been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes Iím in Capable, and I go there more often as Iím getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

And, sometimes I thought I was in Vincible but it turns out I wasnít.

People keep telling me Iím in Denial but Iím positive Iíve never been there before!

Iím hoping to avoid ContinenceÖ

And more and more I think of the Hereafter ó several times a day, in fact. I enter a room and think ďWhat am I here after?Ē

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