Current Topics
Is it too soon to be talking 2020?
by chunkstyle
21 minutes 23 seconds ago
Can't resist.......
by Greger
Yesterday at 11:06 PM
Our Embarrasment of a White House
by Greger
Yesterday at 05:09 PM
Roundtable for Summer 2019
by logtroll
07/16/19 11:47 PM
Democratic Socialism
by Greger
07/15/19 12:46 AM
They have names
by pondering_it_all
07/10/19 05:14 AM
The Debate: Is America’s future capitalist or socialist?
by logtroll
07/06/19 02:03 PM
Supreme Court vs. The People
by pondering_it_all
07/05/19 03:03 AM
Crimes Against Humanity ?
by Jeffery J. Haas
07/04/19 10:14 PM
War with Iran
by Greger
06/27/19 02:44 PM
Impeach
by Greger
06/27/19 02:41 PM
congress and the administration
by pondering_it_all
06/25/19 04:19 AM
Trump, Tarriffs, Promises
by jgw
06/18/19 04:42 PM
Forum Stats
6248 Members
58 Forums
16567 Topics
286286 Posts

Max Online: 294 @ 12/06/17 12:57 AM
Google Adsense
Page 125 of 166 < 1 2 ... 123 124 125 126 127 ... 165 166 >
Topic Options
#278931 - 06/12/15 06:50 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock at the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's 3:30 in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then a louder knock follows.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife.

So he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is a man standing on the porch. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.

"Hi there," slurs the stranger. "Can you give me a push?"

"No, get lost! It's half past three. I was in bed," says the man and he slams the door.

He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says, "That wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the babysitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"

"But the guy was drunk," says the husband.

"It doesn't matter," says the wife. "He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him."

So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the front door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts, "Hey, do you still want a push?"

And he hears a voice cry out, "Yeah, please."

So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, "Where are you?"

And the drunk replies, "Over here, on the swing."

Top
#278932 - 06/12/15 07:02 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA
Billy Bob tells his friend Luther, "This year I'm gonna do my vacation different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go."

"Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant."

"Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earlene got pregnant again."

"Last year you suggested Tahiti, and darned if Earlene didn't get pregnant again!"

Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, whatcha you gonna do this year that's different?"

"This year I'm taking Earlene with me."

Top
#279026 - 06/15/15 04:48 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

Top
#279398 - 06/28/15 03:48 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

Top
#279402 - 06/28/15 03:55 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
logtroll Offline
veteran

Registered: 04/26/10
Posts: 9037
Loc: New Mexico (not old Mexico)
Originally Posted By: Golem


Bow ThumbsUp LOL
_________________________
"You can't fix a problem until you understand what the problem is." Logtroll

Top
#279430 - 06/29/15 04:55 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

Top
#279580 - 07/05/15 09:53 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

Top
#279617 - 07/09/15 03:10 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

Top
#279625 - 07/10/15 09:38 PM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

Top
#279627 - 07/11/15 02:11 AM Re: Miscellaneous humor thread [Re: Golem]
Golem Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/12
Posts: 3862
Loc: Orange County, California, USA

Top
Page 125 of 166 < 1 2 ... 123 124 125 126 127 ... 165 166 >

Who's Online
0 registered (), 44 Guests and 0 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
TrentonP, Nosf50, erumonej, Jensen Breck, Albertapkr
6248 Registered Users
A2