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#314118 - 08/24/19 03:08 AM Re: Retired ? Is it what you thought it would be? [Re: Jeffery J. Haas]
Mellowicious Offline
veteran

Registered: 05/03/06
Posts: 9624
Loc: flyover country
Ponderer, I think my armchair psychologistís license has expired, for what itís worth, it does sound like depression. It also sounds like fear a really strong fear, of change, of aging, of losing you, who knows? She may not know, herself. But depression or fear or both, she does need support, of a kind you canít give her.

There is, of course, another possibility, which is that you might be misreading the situation. You might be seeing something that isnít really there.

A visit to a good doctor, preferably one that already knows her, is certainly in order.
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Long time passing

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#314119 - 08/24/19 03:11 AM Re: Retired ? Is it what you thought it would be? [Re: itstarted]
Jeffery J. Haas Offline
It's the Despair Quotient!
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 08/03/04
Posts: 15728
Loc: Whittier, California
Originally Posted By: itstarted
The morning 2 minute hug is a tradition, and begins every day with a smile... even when it gets a little rocky.


This is an absolute MUST, and not just in the morning either laugh
I ALWAYS do this first thing in the morning...well...okay, first thing after I've shaved and brushed my teeth...Karen gets "mauled" by yours truly, hugs and kisses. And of course, as if she didn't know it, she gets told how much she is loved.

And just in case she might forget, (Visualize Karen giggling and rolling her eyes) she gets told again several times throughout the day and at beddie bye time, too.

I guess I can't speak for her but I NEED those hugs.
They are downright therapeutic.
I can wake up feeling like utter dog crap (some mornings I do - some I don't!) and a nice big squishy hug suddenly sends waves of relief all through me. I am at home in that sweet embrace and my aches and pains and anything else bad just melts away, at least for a little while.

Funniest thing is, Karen and her sister were raised in a family of "cold fish."
That's what my mother called it. Nancie (Karen's sister) married my brother and my mom couldn't believe it when Nancie said that NO ONE EVER said "I love you" and NO ONE EVER hugged in their family.

Naturally, Mom being Italian, you can imagine.
And my mom said,
"Nancie, in this family we are demonstrative. We are touchy-feely Italians who say I love you and we hug, you will have to get used to it!"

Same thing with Karen.

And they did...it was like watching dried up desert flowers receive rain after months of drought.
_________________________
"The Best of the Leon Russell Festivals" DVD
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#314125 - 08/24/19 05:10 AM Re: Retired ? Is it what you thought it would be? [Re: Jeffery J. Haas]
pondering_it_all Offline
veteran

Registered: 02/27/06
Posts: 9848
Loc: North San Diego County
Quote:
we have a MONSTER health insurance bill of 750 a month for the two kids


You know, you can keep your kids on your own policy until they turn 26, but you don't have to! You said yourself that the girl will get 100% subsidized ACA and the boy would be on Medical, if not for you volunteering to pay for them. Stop volunteering! My wife had 100% subsidized ACA for a year, and it was fine. She had a Blue Shield Covered California plan, just like all those subscribers who pay for it. Same medical group, same doctor as before. Nobody at the doctor's office even knew she was getting free coverage. She did have to pay $20 copays for doctor visits, like all the other people with that plan. I hear Medical is even better: Everything covered and zero copays. Only problem is finding a group that will accept it, but you may be surprised at who does. Also catastrophic stuff like kidney transplants, heart transplants, and dialysis are all 100% covered by Medicare for everybody.

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#314126 - 08/24/19 05:16 AM Re: Retired ? Is it what you thought it would be? [Re: Jim D (FreeThinker)]
pondering_it_all Offline
veteran

Registered: 02/27/06
Posts: 9848
Loc: North San Diego County
I watched a great comedy special on Netflix the other night. It's Simon Amstell's "Set Free". It's about a gay Brit discovering how to be himself and how to be happy. Very moving. I really liked one joke:

Quote:
[/quote]Somebody told me the other day that 40 years from now I would be just 75. I said: "For God's Sake, how long does this go on?"

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#314140 - 08/24/19 06:07 PM Re: Retired ? Is it what you thought it would be? [Re: pondering_it_all]
Jeffery J. Haas Offline
It's the Despair Quotient!
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 08/03/04
Posts: 15728
Loc: Whittier, California
Originally Posted By: pondering_it_all
Quote:
we have a MONSTER health insurance bill of 750 a month for the two kids


You know, you can keep your kids on your own policy until they turn 26, but you don't have to! You said yourself that the girl will get 100% subsidized ACA and the boy would be on Medical, if not for you volunteering to pay for them. Stop volunteering! My wife had 100% subsidized ACA for a year, and it was fine. She had a Blue Shield Covered California plan, just like all those subscribers who pay for it. Same medical group, same doctor as before. Nobody at the doctor's office even knew she was getting free coverage. She did have to pay $20 copays for doctor visits, like all the other people with that plan. I hear Medical is even better: Everything covered and zero copays. Only problem is finding a group that will accept it, but you may be surprised at who does. Also catastrophic stuff like kidney transplants, heart transplants, and dialysis are all 100% covered by Medicare for everybody.


That's almost what I said.
Bri is going to have to apply for her ACA policy on her own this time around, and I mentioned that even though she's working her fanny off, her income will be low enough to qualify for a subsidized policy.

As for Daryl, he has NO income at this time, but the big worry is that he will be declared uninsurable by "the marketplace" due to his heart defects, and he will wind up on Medi-Cal.

Either way, when he begins to get his disability, he'll qualify.
_________________________
"The Best of the Leon Russell Festivals" DVD
deepfreezefilms.com

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