Oh cool! The one that works best will be easier to get up your ass than the others!
Just so you know, MY particular UV-C bulbs also make OZONE.
Does ozone keep butts clean? I dunno, maybe Trump knows!
Just a word of caution: beware of ozone if you or your wife have asthma. It tends to make it worse. Use any ozone-making device in well-ventilated areas.
Please take COVID-19 seriously; don't panic but don't deny it; practice social distancing (stay 6ft from people); wash your hands a lot, don't touch your face, don't gather with too many people, so that you help us contain it.