For today:


Drop that cross one more time you're out of the parade.

Twas the night before Easter and the Rock wouldn't budge.

Pontius Pilate and his Nail Driving Five playing "Rock Around the Cross"

The do-it-yourself Easter kit: two boards, three nails

I don't care if this IS the Last Supper -- no ID card, no bread and wine!

Jesus was on the cross, and he was really starting to feel the pain, so he cried to his Father, "Lord, if you really love me, you'll remove these nails from my hands." God complied. As Jesus began falling forward, he suddenly remembered and yelled (his arms flapping): "The FEET! THE FEET!"