Capitol Hill Blue
Posted By: Scoutgal Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/01/15 06:13 AM
Welcome To Reader Rant

December, 2015


Christmas-December 25th(Orthodox-January 6th)


Christmas or Christmas Day (Old English: Crīstesmæsse, meaning "Christ's Mass") is an annual festival commemorating the birth of Jesus Christ, observed most commonly on December 25 as a religious and cultural celebration among billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it is prepared for by the season of Advent or Nativity Fast and is prolonged by the Octave of Christmas and further by the season of Christmastide. Christmas Day is a public holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated culturally by a large number of non-Christian people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

The celebratory customs associated in various countries with Christmas have a mix of pre-Christian, Christian, and secular themes and origins. Popular modern customs of the holiday include gift giving, completing an Advent calendar or Advent wreath, Christmas music and caroling, an exchange of Christmas cards, church services, a special meal, and the display of various Christmas decorations, including Christmas trees, Christmas lights, nativity scenes, garlands, wreaths, mistletoe, and holly. In addition, several closely related and often interchangeable figures, known as Santa Claus, Father Christmas, Saint Nicholas, and Christkind, are associated with bringing gifts to children during the Christmas season and have their own body of traditions and lore. Because gift-giving and many other aspects of the Christmas festival involve heightened economic activity, the holiday has become a significant event and a key sales period for retailers and businesses. The economic impact of Christmas is a factor that has grown steadily over the past few centuries in many regions of the world.






Hanukkah-December 6th-December 14th


Chanukkah or Ḥanukkah), also known as the Festival of Lights and Feast of Dedication, is an eight-day Jewish holiday commemorating the rededication of the Holy Temple (the Second Temple) in Jerusalem at the time of the Maccabean Revolt against the Seleucid Empire of the 2nd century BC. Hanukkah is observed for eight nights and days, starting on the 25th day of Kislev according to the Hebrew calendar, which may occur at any time from late November to late December in the Gregorian calendar.

The festival is observed by the kindling of the lights of a unique candelabrum, the nine-branched menorah or hanukiah, one additional light on each night of the holiday, progressing to eight on the final night. The typical menorah consists of eight branches with an additional visually distinct branch. The extra light, with which the others are lit, is called a shamash (Hebrew: שמש‎, "attendant") and is given a distinct location, usually above or below the rest.

Other Hanukkah festivities include playing dreidel and eating oil based foods such as doughnuts and latkes.

Hanukkah became more widely celebrated beginning from the 1970s, when Rabbi Menachem M. Schneerson called for public awareness and observance of the festival and encouraged the lighting of public menorahs. Diane Ashton attributed the popularization of Hanukkah by some of the American Jewish community as a way to adapt to American life, because they could celebrate Hannukkah which occurs at around the same time as Christmas.






Winter Solstice-December 22nd


Winter solstice is an astronomical phenomenon marking the shortest day and the longest night of the year. Winter solstice occurs for the Northern Hemisphere in December and for the Southern Hemisphere in June.

The axial tilt of Earth and gyroscopic effects of its daily rotation mean that the two opposite points in the sky to which the Earth's axis of rotation points change very slowly (making a complete circle approximately every 26,000 years). As the Earth follows its orbit around the Sun, the polar hemisphere that faced away from the Sun, experiencing winter, will, in half a year, face towards the Sun and experience summer. This is because the two hemispheres face opposite directions along Earth's axis, and so as one polar hemisphere experiences winter, the other experiences summer.

More evident from high latitudes, a hemisphere's winter solstice occurs on the shortest day and longest night of the year, when the sun's daily maximum elevation in the sky is at its lowest. The winter solstice itself lasts only a moment in time, so other terms are used for the day on which it occurs, such as "midwinter", or the "shortest day". It is often considered the "extreme of winter" (Dongzhi in the Chinese calendar). In meteorology, winter in the Northern Hemisphere spans the entire period of December through February. The seasonal significance of the winter solstice is in the reversal of the gradual lengthening of nights and shortening of days. The earliest sunset and latest sunrise dates differ from winter solstice, however, and these depend on latitude, due to the variation in the solar day throughout the year caused by the Earth's elliptical orbit (see earliest and latest sunrise and sunset).

Worldwide, interpretation of the event has varied across cultures, but many have held a recognition of rebirth, involving holidays, festivals, gatherings, rituals or other celebrations around that time.






Kwanzaa-December 26th-January 1st


Kwanzaa (/ˈkwɑːnzə/) is a week-long celebration held in the United States and in other nations of the Western African diaspora in the Americas. The celebration honors African heritage in African-American culture, and is observed from December 26 to January 1, culminating in a feast and gift-giving. Kwanzaa has seven core principles (Nguzo Saba). It was created by Maulana Karenga, and was first celebrated in 1966–67.

Maulana Karenga created Kwanzaa in 1965 as the first specifically African-American holiday. According to Karenga, the name Kwanzaa derives from the Swahili phrase matunda ya kwanza, meaning "first fruits of the harvest". The choice of Swahili, an East African language, reflects its status as a symbol of Pan-Africanism, especially in the 1960s, although most East African nations were not involved in the Atlantic slave trade that brought African people to America.

Kwanzaa is a celebration that has its roots in the black nationalist movement of the 1960s, and was established as a means to help African Americans reconnect with their African cultural and historical heritage by uniting in meditation and study of African traditions and Nguzo Saba, the "seven principles of African Heritage" which Karenga said "is a communitarian African philosophy".

During the early years of Kwanzaa, Karenga said that it was meant to be an "oppositional alternative" to Christmas. However, as Kwanzaa gained mainstream adherents, Karenga altered his position so that practicing Christians would not be alienated, then stating in the 1997 Kwanzaa: A Celebration of Family, Community, and Culture, "Kwanzaa was not created to give people an alternative to their own religion or religious holiday." Many African Americans who celebrate Kwanzaa do so in addition to observing Christmas.







Have a great month, Ranter! cool
Posted By: Scoutgal Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/01/15 03:03 PM
How did the violinist feel after he left the hospital?
Fit as a fiddle.

So good in fact he ate the cello.
Posted By: Scoutgal Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/01/15 04:04 PM
Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their hand guns down through the family.


An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside. "Guido, I wan' you lissin ame. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns..how about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"

"You lissin ame, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna DA business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lots a money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos."

"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. "Whatta you gonna do then? Point at you watch and say, 'times up'"?
Posted By: Ezekiel Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/01/15 04:06 PM
Originally Posted By: Scoutgal
Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their hand guns down through the family.


An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside. "Guido, I wan' you lissin ame. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns..how about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"

"You lissin ame, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna DA business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lots a money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos."

"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. "Whatta you gonna do then? Point at you watch and say, 'times up'"?


LOL LOL
Posted By: Scoutgal Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/01/15 04:10 PM
Irish blonde...

An attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland , arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice.

She said,"I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed, "Yes! Yes! I won, I won!" She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know-I thought you were watching."

MORAL OF THE STORY

Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb, .....but all men....are men!
Posted By: Ezekiel Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/01/15 04:41 PM
Originally Posted By: Scoutgal
Irish blonde...

An attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland , arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice.

She said,"I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed, "Yes! Yes! I won, I won!" She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know-I thought you were watching."

MORAL OF THE STORY

Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb, .....but all men....are men!


LOL ROTFMOL
Posted By: pdx rick Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/01/15 09:33 PM


Gosh! Remember what a terrific president Ronald Reagan was, what with taking credit for ending the USSR and taking credit for a mild economic expansion (but not for either recession during his terms), and Making America Proud Again? Oh, and how it took until 1985, after more than 5000 people had died of AIDS, for Reagan to say the name of the disease? It was his second term, so he could say it without electoral backlash, and besides, Ryan White had already made it OK for straight people to say “AIDS” in 1984. Let’s relive those exciting early days of the epidemic with this documentary short by Scott Calonico, When AIDS Was Funny, released Tuesday on Vanity Fair to mark World AIDS Day.



Posted By: pdx rick Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/01/15 09:37 PM

Oh 1985, such good times!! It wasn’t yet politically incorrect to talk about "those people" without exaggerating a lisp and a limp-wristed sashay. Don't worry!!! Donald Trump is bringing this style of comedy back as merely one part of President Trump’s plan to Make America Great Again™.
Posted By: Scoutgal Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/03/15 05:34 PM
A truck driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up that read, “Low Bridge Ahead”. Before he realized it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it. Cars were backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car arrived. The policeman got out of his car and walked to the truck’s cab and said to the driver, “Got stuck, hay?”

The truck driver said, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of fuel!”


I am waiting for Bill Engvald to say "Here's your sign"!
Posted By: Scoutgal Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/03/15 05:46 PM


And this valet parking system won't steal your stuff or take your car joy riding! ThumbsUp
Posted By: Scoutgal Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/03/15 05:51 PM
I started reading a book on anti-gravity and now I can't put it down.
Posted By: Scoutgal Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/03/15 06:46 PM
What do you call a cat that steals?
A PURR-snatcher

(Not a cat burglar?)
Posted By: Scoutgal Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/03/15 06:48 PM
85-year-old Biker Bob was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, ‘Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow. ’

The next day Bob reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the old biker explained, 'Well you see, doc, it’s like this. “First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my old lady for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. 'We even called up Sally, the Gal next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still nothing.’ The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?'

Bob replied, 'Yep, none of us could get that damn jar open.
Posted By: pdx rick Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/03/15 10:03 PM


How to quickly determine is an assaulter is mentally ill or a terrorist:

Posted By: Ken Condon Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/03/15 10:28 PM
Quote:
’Yep, none of us could get that damn jar open.

Drum roll-cymbal crash.

Keep ‘em coming (sorry) Scout. We appreciate the levity during these trying times.
Posted By: logtroll Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/04/15 12:17 AM
The funny spuds were a-flyin'!

Why? Cuz they are levitaters...
Posted By: Ezekiel Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/04/15 12:42 AM
Originally Posted By: Scoutgal
85-year-old Biker Bob was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, ‘Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow. ’

The next day Bob reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the old biker explained, 'Well you see, doc, it’s like this. “First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my old lady for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. 'We even called up Sally, the Gal next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still nothing.’ The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?'

Bob replied, 'Yep, none of us could get that damn jar open.


ROTFMOL
Posted By: Scoutgal Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/04/15 01:36 AM
Originally Posted By: logtroll
The funny spuds were a-flyin'!

Why? Cuz they are levitaters...


LOL
Posted By: pdx rick Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/04/15 07:38 AM


So The Daily Beast ID'd the wrong guy yesterday, giving out details of where he lived and there was never an Editor's correction or update - until today.

I'm sure being named Muslim of the Week by The Daily Beast wrongly never put that family in jeopardy in conservativeish San Berdoo County or in any danger what-so-ever.

Sheesh!! rolleyes

The (Dumbass) Daily Beast
Posted By: Scoutgal Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/05/15 12:12 PM
One day a father, on his way home from work suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday.

He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, "How much for one of those Barbies in the display window?"

The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have:
Work Out Barbie for $19.95
Shopping Barbie for $19.95
Beach Barbie for $19.95
Disco Barbie for $19.95
Astronaut Barbie for $19.95
Skater Barbie for $19.95 and
Divorced Barbie for $265.95

The amazed father asks, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?"

The salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers, "'Sir..., the Divorced Barbie comes with:
Ken's Truck, Ken's House, Ken's Fishing Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Dog, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made from Ken's testicles.
Posted By: Scoutgal Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/05/15 12:18 PM
A vampire walks into a bar.
The bartender asks: "You want a blood or a blood lite?"
Posted By: Scoutgal Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/05/15 12:40 PM
A High School teacher was reminding her pupils of their final exam the following day.

“Now listen to me, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack, a near-fatal personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!”

A smart-arsed teenager at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, “What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?”

The entire class started sniggering.

When silence was restored, the teacher smiled at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, “Well, I would expect you to write the exam with your other hand.”
Posted By: Scoutgal Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/05/15 01:05 PM
There were two Catholic boys, Timothy Murphy and Antonio Secola, whose lives paralleled each other in amazing ways. In the same year Timothy was born in Ireland, Antonio was born in Italy .

Faithfully they attended parochial School from kindergarten through their senior year in high school. They took their vows to enter the priesthood early in college, and upon graduation, became priests.

Their careers had come to amaze the world, but it was generally acknowledged that Antonio Secola was just a wee cut above Timothy Murphy in all respects.

Their rise through the ranks of Bishop, Archbishop and finally Cardinal was swift to say the least and the Catholic world knew that when the present Pope died, it would be one of the two who would become the next Pope.

In time the Pope did die, and the College of Cardinals went to work. In less time than anyone had expected, white smoke rose from the chimney and the world waited to see whom they had chosen.

The world, Catholic, Protestant and secular, was surprised to learn that Timothy Murphy had been elected Pope!

Antonio Secola was beyond surprise. He was devastated,because even with all of Timothy's gifts, Antonio knew he was just a bit better qualified.

With gall that shocked the Cardinals, Antonio Secola asked for a private session with them in which he candidly asked: "Why Timothy?"

After a long silence, an old Cardinal took pity on the bewildered man and rose to reply.

"We knew you were the better of the two, but could not bear the thought of the leader of the Roman Catholic Church being called POPE SE-COLA"
Posted By: pdx rick Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/07/15 05:25 PM



A reminder for these trying times:




Quote:
Now the valley cried with anger

Mount your horses

Draw your swords

And they killed the mountain people

So they won their just reward

Now they stood beside the treasure

On the mountain dark and red

Turned the stone and looked beneath it

'Peace on Earth' was all it said.
Posted By: Scoutgal Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/08/15 03:15 PM
The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
Posted By: Scoutgal Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/08/15 03:29 PM
Ira Kaplan, hadn't returned to the old neighborhood since he went off to fight in Vietnam.

During a business trip to New York he visits his old neighborhood on Kotler Avenue in the Bronx.

Everything has changed over the years. Where once there was Edelstein’s Delicatessen, there is now a McDonald’s; where Fleischman’s Dry Cleaning (One-Hour Martinizing) used to be, a Korean nail salon and spa now is; where Ginsberg’s Department Store was, there is now a Gap.

Nothing is the same, except for the narrow storefront of Klonsky’s Shoe Repair, which, dimly lit as ever, is still in business.

As Kaplan passes the shop, he recalls (such are the quirks of memory that he does not know how) that just before he was drafted to go off to Vietnam, he had left a pair of shoes with Mr. Klonsky that he never bothered to pick up.

Could they, he wonders, possibly still be there? A small bell tinkles as he enters the dark shop.

Mr. Klonsky, who seemed old 40 years ago, shuffles out from the back. He is hunched over, wearing a leather apron, one eye all but closed.

“Excuse me, Mr. Klonsky,” Kaplan says, “but I used to live in this neighborhood, and 40 years ago I left a pair of shoes with you for repair that I never picked up. Is there any chance you might still have them?”

Klonsky stares at him and, in his strong Eastern European accent, asks, “Vas dey black vingtips?”

“They were indeed,” Kaplan only now recalls.

“And you vanted a halv sole, mit rubber heels?”

“Yes,” says Kaplan. “That’s exactly what I wanted.”

“And you vanted taps on the heels only?”

“Yes, yes,” says Kaplan. “Amazing! Do you still have them?”

Mr. Klonsky looks up at him, his good eye asquint, and says, “Dey’ll be ready Vendesday.”.
Posted By: Ezekiel Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/08/15 03:39 PM
Originally Posted By: Scoutgal
There were two Catholic boys, Timothy Murphy and Antonio Secola, whose lives paralleled each other in amazing ways. In the same year Timothy was born in Ireland, Antonio was born in Italy .

Faithfully they attended parochial School from kindergarten through their senior year in high school. They took their vows to enter the priesthood early in college, and upon graduation, became priests.

Their careers had come to amaze the world, but it was generally acknowledged that Antonio Secola was just a wee cut above Timothy Murphy in all respects.

Their rise through the ranks of Bishop, Archbishop and finally Cardinal was swift to say the least and the Catholic world knew that when the present Pope died, it would be one of the two who would become the next Pope.

In time the Pope did die, and the College of Cardinals went to work. In less time than anyone had expected, white smoke rose from the chimney and the world waited to see whom they had chosen.

The world, Catholic, Protestant and secular, was surprised to learn that Timothy Murphy had been elected Pope!

Antonio Secola was beyond surprise. He was devastated,because even with all of Timothy's gifts, Antonio knew he was just a bit better qualified.

With gall that shocked the Cardinals, Antonio Secola asked for a private session with them in which he candidly asked: "Why Timothy?"

After a long silence, an old Cardinal took pity on the bewildered man and rose to reply.

"We knew you were the better of the two, but could not bear the thought of the leader of the Roman Catholic Church being called POPE SE-COLA"


LOL
Posted By: Ezekiel Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/08/15 03:41 PM
Originally Posted By: Scoutgal
Ira Kaplan, hadn't returned to the old neighborhood since he went off to fight in Vietnam.

During a business trip to New York he visits his old neighborhood on Kotler Avenue in the Bronx.

Everything has changed over the years. Where once there was Edelstein’s Delicatessen, there is now a McDonald’s; where Fleischman’s Dry Cleaning (One-Hour Martinizing) used to be, a Korean nail salon and spa now is; where Ginsberg’s Department Store was, there is now a Gap.

Nothing is the same, except for the narrow storefront of Klonsky’s Shoe Repair, which, dimly lit as ever, is still in business.

As Kaplan passes the shop, he recalls (such are the quirks of memory that he does not know how) that just before he was drafted to go off to Vietnam, he had left a pair of shoes with Mr. Klonsky that he never bothered to pick up.

Could they, he wonders, possibly still be there? A small bell tinkles as he enters the dark shop.

Mr. Klonsky, who seemed old 40 years ago, shuffles out from the back. He is hunched over, wearing a leather apron, one eye all but closed.

“Excuse me, Mr. Klonsky,” Kaplan says, “but I used to live in this neighborhood, and 40 years ago I left a pair of shoes with you for repair that I never picked up. Is there any chance you might still have them?”

Klonsky stares at him and, in his strong Eastern European accent, asks, “Vas dey black vingtips?”

“They were indeed,” Kaplan only now recalls.

“And you vanted a halv sole, mit rubber heels?”

“Yes,” says Kaplan. “That’s exactly what I wanted.”

“And you vanted taps on the heels only?”

“Yes, yes,” says Kaplan. “Amazing! Do you still have them?”

Mr. Klonsky looks up at him, his good eye asquint, and says, “Dey’ll be ready Vendesday.”.
ROTFMOL
Posted By: Scoutgal Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/08/15 03:43 PM
Small Brown Bottle

The other day I went over to my neighborhood Walgreens.

When I got there, I went straight to the back of the store to where the Pharmacists' Counter is located.

I took out my little brown bottle along with a teaspoon and laid them both onto the counter.

The pharmacist came over smiled and asked if he could help me.

I said, "Yes! Could you please taste this for me?"

Being I'm a senior citizen... I guess the Pharmacist just went along with me.

He picked up the spoon and put a tiny bit of the liquid on his tongue and swilled it around.

Then with a stomach-churning look on his face he spit it out on the floor and began coughing.

When he finally was finished, I looked him right in the eye and asked, "Now, does that taste sweet to you?"

The pharmacist, shaking his head back and forth with a venomous look in his eyes yelled,"HELL NO!!!"

So I said, "Oh thank God! That's a real relief! My doctor told me to get a pharmacist to test my urine for sugar!"

Well, I can never go back to that Walgreens. But I really don't care, because they aren't very friendly there anyway!
Posted By: Scoutgal Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/08/15 04:01 PM


You'll be fine," the Doctor said after finishing the young Woman's surgery.

But, she asked, "How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again Doctor?"

The Surgeon seemed to pause and his face reddened as a small tear ran down his cheek from the corner of his eye.

The girl was alarmed. "What's the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"

He replied, "Yes, you'll be fine. It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."
Posted By: Scoutgal Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/08/15 04:06 PM
What do pilots keep their journals and reports on? Fly paper
Posted By: pdx rick Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/09/15 04:14 PM


Elizabeth "Yes, I'm really a blonde" Hasselback advocates for kids bum-rushing active shooters. What could possibly go wrong with that idea?



Media Matters
Posted By: pdx rick Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/09/15 04:30 PM


...from todays (12/09/15) NY Daily News' cover page:


Posted By: logtroll Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/09/15 04:45 PM
Originally Posted By: Scoutgal
What do pilots keep their journals and reports on? Fly paper

Buzz off...
Posted By: Ezekiel Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/09/15 04:45 PM
Originally Posted By: pdx rick


...from todays (12/09/15) NY Daily News' cover page:


ThumbsUp
Posted By: pdx rick Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/09/15 10:50 PM


Our buddy Scalia on black college students:

Quote:
"There are those who contend that it does not benefit African-Americans to get them into the University of Texas, where they do not do well," Scalia said, "as opposed to having them go to a less-advanced school ... a slower-track school where they do well."

Scalia was engaging former U.S. Solicitor General Gregory Garre, who is now representing the University of Texas at Austin as the school defends its ongoing consideration of race as one of many factors in its admissions program.

Pointing to a brief the court received before oral arguments, Scalia noted "most of the black scientists in this country don't come from schools like the University of Texas."

Garre tried to interject, but the justice continued. "They come from lesser schools where they do not feel that ... they're being pushed ahead­­ in classes that are too fast for them," Scalia said.


CNN.com
Posted By: Scoutgal Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/09/15 11:20 PM
Why some folks do not attend high school reunions.

Jan, Sue and Wendy haven't seen each other since High School. They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar.

Jan arrives first, wearing beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio.

Sue arrives shortly afterward, in gray Chanel. After the required ritualized kisses, she joins Jan in a glass of wine.

Then Wendy walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans and boots. She too, shares the wine.

Jan explains that after leaving high school and graduating from Princeton in Classics, she met and married Timothy, with whom she has a beautiful daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of New York 's leading law firms. They live in a 4000 sq.ft. co-op on Fifth Avenue , where Susanna, the daughter, attends drama school. They have a second home in Phoenix.

Sue relates that she graduated from Harvard Med School and became a surgeon. Her husband, Clive, is a leading Wall Street investment banker. They live in Southampton on Long Island and have a second home in Naples, Florida.

Wendy explains that she left school at 17 and ran off with her boyfriend, Don. They run a tropical bird park in Colorado and grow their own vegetables and marijuana. Don is a lousy golfer but can stand five parrots, side by side, on his pecker.

Halfway down the third bottle of wine and several hours later, Jan blurts out that her husband is really a cashier at WalMart. They live in a small apartment in Brooklyn and have a travel trailer parked at a nearby storage facility.

Sue, chastened and encouraged by her old friend's honesty, explains that she and Clive are both nurses' aides in a retirement home. They live in Jersey City and take vacation camping trips to Alabama .

Wendy says the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg.
Posted By: Scoutgal Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/09/15 11:22 PM
A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.
Posted By: Ezekiel Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/09/15 11:25 PM
Originally Posted By: Scoutgal
A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.


That is one of best, Scout ROTFMOL ROTFMOL
Posted By: Ezekiel Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/09/15 11:29 PM
Originally Posted By: pdx rick


Elizabeth "Yes, I'm really a blonde" Hasselback advocates for kids bum-rushing active shooters. What could possibly go wrong with that idea?



Media Matters



Has she publicly done the pube test? If so, how the f#%# did I miss it????
Posted By: Scoutgal Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/10/15 02:46 PM
Posted By: pdx rick Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/10/15 04:55 PM

Posted By: pdx rick Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/10/15 09:59 PM



Where's Doug these days? His visits are far and few between. I'd love to know what he thinks of this year's crop of POTUS potentials. Hmm
Posted By: Ken Condon Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/10/15 11:48 PM
First of all I think most were shocked by your absolutely non PC post. But I found it amusing. We are not supposed to find humor in such things-- but I do. Sometimes. I mean the 8th century was a very good era--was it not? Am I an awful person? Hmm

Where’s Doug these days

Motoring around on a Yahama. He chucked his Harley and went for a foreign import. Supposedly he is pleased with his decision.
Posted By: Ezekiel Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/11/15 01:36 PM
Originally Posted By: Scoutgal


ThumbsUp ThumbsUp
Posted By: pdx rick Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/11/15 05:22 PM


Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer (2015)

Rudolph the red nosed-reindeer
Had a radiant nose
He should have gone to a doctor
To have it diagnosed.

All of the other reindeer
Use to laugh and call him names
Rudolph went straight to H.R.
And filed a harassment claim.
Posted By: pdx rick Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/11/15 05:51 PM

Dear Santa,

Please give Texas what it wants. smile

Posted By: Phil Hoskins Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/12/15 05:57 PM
There is a post on Facebook about Donna Gayler dying, is this our Scoutgal?
Posted By: SuZQ Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/12/15 06:15 PM
Yes, Phil. it is our Scoutgal. I also just read about it on Facebook. Her daughter posted something, but doesn't give details. I know she was experiencing some major health setbacks of late. Very sad day for all of us.
Posted By: Ezekiel Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/12/15 06:21 PM
Originally Posted By: Phil Hoskins
There is a post on Facebook about Donna Gayler dying, is this our Scoutgal?


Yes it certainly seems so.
frown frown frown frown
Posted By: Ezekiel Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/12/15 06:27 PM
Originally Posted By: SuZQ
Yes, Phil. it is our Scoutgal. I also just read about it on Facebook. Her daughter posted something, but doesn't give details. I know she was experiencing some major health setbacks of late. Very sad day for all of us.


Yes it is a very, very sad day. She will be missed more than I can say.

Requiescat in pace, Dear Donna.
Posted By: Phil Hoskins Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/12/15 06:28 PM
What a shock. Very very sad
Posted By: pdx rick Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/12/15 06:31 PM
Originally Posted By: Phil Hoskins
There is a post on Facebook about Donna Gayler dying, is this our Scoutgal?

What?????????????
Posted By: Jeffery J. Haas Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/12/15 06:31 PM
OMG Donna I am so sorry you left us.
Tears are flowing and there isn't an adequate way to show how much you meant to us with words.
Posted By: pdx rick Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/12/15 06:32 PM

I'm so so sad. I'm crying.
Posted By: Ken Condon Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/12/15 06:32 PM
Indeed. I always found her to be very pleasant even in disagreements. Not much for me to say at this point except sadness.
Posted By: pdx rick Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/12/15 06:33 PM


I can't believe it. OMG...
Posted By: Jeffery J. Haas Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/12/15 06:40 PM
We lost a truly wonderful friend and human being today.
Donna Gayler, aka "Scoutgal" on Capitol Hill Blue Reader Rant, was a joyous lady who always had a smile and a funny joke for everyone, and an engaging personality filled with strength and wisdom all wrapped up in a warm and loving outlook.
Donna was a petite but power packed Eveready Bunny who knew how to make friends and keep them, even if she was in the middle of a heated debate with opposing views.
Words fail me at this time because they aren't sufficient to describe the loss we are all feeling today.
Posted By: Ezekiel Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/12/15 06:42 PM
Quote:
Do not go gentle into that good night
...
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.


Dylan Thomas
Posted By: pdx rick Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/12/15 06:43 PM


When services are announced, I'm go to fly down and attend. I've met the Scout family and Donna and I shared many dinners together.
Posted By: pdx rick Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/12/15 06:46 PM


The first time I met Donna, she met me at the Norms in Orange and she was sitting in the waiting area and her feet didn't touch the ground.
Posted By: Greger Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/12/15 06:52 PM
A very sad day indeed. Despite our occasional differences Donna was a good friend to me. She even came to my little town here in Florida to visit a few years ago. We spent many happy hours together on the phone swapping recipes and talking about food and cooking.

She will be sorely missed by all who knew her.
Posted By: olyve Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/12/15 07:19 PM
I saw this early this morning on facebook. I was hoping when I came back this afternoon that I had read it wrong.
What a shock. I am very sad.
I met her when she came to Atlanta with Kathy Albers a few years ago. A dynamo in a tiny package. She'll be missed.
Posted By: logtroll Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/12/15 09:47 PM
That explains a post of hers from not many days ago when I teased her for "sounding drunk" because of some uncharacteristic misspellings.

I loved her appreciation for bad puns...
Posted By: Doug Thompson Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/12/15 09:54 PM
I just learned the news. I am stunned. Donna and her loved one visited us here in our Blue Ridge Mountain home a few years ago and we had a great time. I didn't even know anything was wrong. Please let me know what I can do.

--Doug
Posted By: Jeffery J. Haas Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/12/15 09:56 PM
She had a list of health issues, diabetes, kidneys were shot, but she never ever complained. Dialysis for...I think...eight or nine years maybe.

She always maintained a positive outlook.
Posted By: Doug Thompson Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/12/15 09:58 PM
I just learned of Donna's passing. I had the pleasure of meeting her when they came to visit us in Virginia a few years ago and I'm at a loss for words. Please let me know what I can do.

--Doug
Posted By: NW Ponderer Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/12/15 10:15 PM
I'm at a loss. BBL.
Posted By: SuZQ Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/12/15 10:54 PM
It's so nice to see familiar faces on here. RR and CHB were such a big part of my life for so many years, until my own life just got crazier with all my husband's increasing medical needs and my slide into retirement. Even though I didn't stop by as often as I used to, the one constant was Donna. She somehow searched me out on FB, and was a constsnt presence with her family events and corny jokes. We shared an aniversary date...Feb. 20th. I'm headed for my 45th, as she was going towards her 35th. I will miss that little congratulatory greeting each year, just as I will miss everything about her. She was a constant reminder of the genuine goodness in people. RIP, Scoutgal...keep them laughing on the other side.
Posted By: 2wins Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/13/15 01:34 AM
I was sitting in the car at the supermarket and randomly clicked on FB. The first thing I saw was a tribute to Donna. I was shocked. I couldn't bring myself to go into the store. Like all of you I loved her dearly. Funny thing is I never got to meet her. She and I would exchanged messages now and again and "like" photos etc. It's strange how someone can have an impact on your life, even in the virtual world. She was one of the first people I met on this site. Like Suzy, I'll miss those corny jokes on FB. Sad day.
Posted By: Ken Condon Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/13/15 02:53 AM
It is tough indeed. It has touched us all. And then we all know the clock is ticking.

Do well my friends-- because there is a finity. Towards the infinity.
Posted By: Joe Buff Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/13/15 03:01 AM
Gone From My Sight
by Henry Jackson Van Dyke

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side,
spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts
for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck
of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone."
Gone where?

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,
hull and spar as she was when she left my side.

And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me -- not in her.

And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone,"
there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices
ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"

——Until we all meet merrily on that opposite shore.....
Posted By: Phil Hoskins Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/13/15 07:18 AM
If any of us has a way to contact her husband and/or family it would be my hope they could get all the posts here in honor of Donna.

I must admit I am still in disbelief, like reading about someone else, because DONNA IS ALWAYS HERE and I just don't want it to be any other way
Posted By: Greger Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/15/15 02:22 PM

Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Arlene: What in the hell is that?
Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Arlene: Where did you get it?
Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.
The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and
announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what size, texture, brand of condom she prefers.
'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'
The pharmacist fainted.
Posted By: logtroll Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/15/15 02:46 PM
Well done, Gregermon.
Posted By: logtroll Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/15/15 02:48 PM
Posted By: Ezekiel Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/15/15 02:58 PM
Originally Posted By: Greger

Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Arlene: What in the hell is that?
Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Arlene: Where did you get it?
Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.
The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and
announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what size, texture, brand of condom she prefers.
'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'
The pharmacist fainted.


ThumbsUp for picking up the baton.
Posted By: Phil Hoskins Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/15/15 05:28 PM
For friends of Donna Gayler - her services are this Saturday, the 19th at St. Marks Lutheran Church. 2323 Las Lomitas Dr., Hacienda Heights. Reception to follow.
Posted By: pdx rick Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/16/15 12:51 AM

Thank you Phil.
Posted By: Greger Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/17/15 07:46 PM
Posted By: Phil Hoskins Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/18/15 05:24 PM
Tomorrow is the service for Donna (scoutgal) If anyone wants to convey a message to her husband and family you can send it to my email -- philiphoskins@outlook.com) and I will print it and give it to them.
Posted By: Golem Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/19/15 10:23 PM
Originally Posted By: SuZQ
Yes, Phil. it is our Scoutgal. I also just read about it on Facebook. Her daughter posted something, but doesn't give details. I know she was experiencing some major health setbacks of late. Very sad day for all of us.

Oh, no! I just now found out about this! frown

Even though I never met Donna in person or even talked to her on the phone, I still thought of her as a friend. RIP, dear Donna.
Posted By: Golem Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/19/15 10:33 PM
Originally Posted By: pdx rick


The first time I met Donna, she met me at the Norms in Orange and she was sitting in the waiting area and her feet didn't touch the ground.

Wow. That's about 5 miles from where I live.
Posted By: Golem Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/19/15 10:35 PM
Originally Posted By: Phil Hoskins
For friends of Donna Gayler - her services are this Saturday, the 19th at St. Marks Lutheran Church. 2323 Las Lomitas Dr., Hacienda Heights. Reception to follow.

I wish I'd been paying attention. I would have gone to say goodbye to Donna.
Posted By: Phil Hoskins Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/20/15 05:29 AM
Donna's service was moving and beautiful. Capitol Hill Blue and Reader Rant were mentioned as part of her world
Posted By: Golem Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/20/15 03:31 PM
I'm truly sorry that I missed it.
Posted By: Ezekiel Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/20/15 03:53 PM
Originally Posted By: Phil Hoskins
Donna's service was moving and beautiful. Capitol Hill Blue and Reader Rant were mentioned as part of her world


I too am sorry I couldn't make it, but I couldn't make a cross-country flight.
My thoughts, nonetheless, are with her family. She will be dearly missed.
Posted By: Violet Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/21/15 11:53 AM
I am so very sorry to hear about Donna. I learned of this a few days ago and was in total shock. Donna and I have been email friends for years. I knew she had serious health problems but she was always so upbeat and positive and loved her family so. We didn't always see eye to eye on politics, but we remained respectful friends. She was a caring and compassionate lady and she will be missed by many. Sending prayers to her family.
Posted By: Phil Hoskins Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/31/15 09:01 PM
Good to see you here Violet, come back again.
Donna was a treasure.
Posted By: Phil Hoskins Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 12/31/15 09:02 PM
If anyone is interested in preparing future Round Table openers please let me know.

Phil Hoskins Administrator
Posted By: Phil Hoskins Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 01/01/16 04:08 AM
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL
Posted By: pdx rick Re: Round Table For December, 2015 - 01/01/16 07:37 PM


Originally Posted By: Phil Hoskins
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL

Thanks Phil, you too. With the passing of our dear friend Donna, I'm reminded that time in our little community here on RR is finite.
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