Communication from Fearless Leader to Martian Minions: "Quick! Get under the rocks. They're here looking for little green men, and we can't make it too easy for them...SO GET YOUR MUG OUTTA THE LENS!!! We don't want them up here taking our rich red dirt. If they find out we can get a crop of little greenies only 45 days after planting, we'll lose the entire planet surface to Monsanto.
Or the personnel department for that Mini-Cooper company, 'cuz we fit in small places. Being only a foot and half high and all.
Did they finally send William Shatner?
Speaking of Monsanto, we don't want none of their polluted DNA, pesticide making foodstuffs from GMO seed up here. Just real, home cooked earth food would be the nicest treat in the Solar System. But, this crazy truck has no food. Not even a...
Do those geniuses at NASA think we like
doing moonshots for cheese? Didn't the bleedin' name of this Planet give them the least, little, smidgen of a hint?
And don't forget writing up the report due on the fancy-schmancy Mars Mission Dune Rover. It looks like an explosion in the Erector Set Factory fer gunnus sake. What do they think they're going to find in the middle of a field of red dirt. A Martian/Chinese joint venture auto factory buried 65 feet down? It's globalism, not galaxy-ism.
BTW, don't forget to send Earthlings a message that if they send us Donald Trump, we're sending him back. He'll be fired before he arrives, if only because comb overs aren't allowed and we don't like destroyers of Scottish dunes so that the "world's greatest golf course" could be built in a sensitive ecosystem. Article on Trump Golf Course and Magical Approval of the Scheme
Fearless Leader Signing Off-- And Don't Forget The Prime Directive.