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Beautiful, beautiful language...
by TatumAH - 12/06/21 04:40 AM
The US's future: The United States of Giiead
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RoundTable For Fall 2021
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lying on the internet
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What's for dinner?
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A Musical Quiz
by Ken Condon - 12/05/21 11:01 PM
Winning
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The Drift, Thread Association Thread
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... doubt is our product...
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Denialism
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Coronavirus: The Plague of The 21st Century?
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Pacific Northwest Weather
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A Fungus Amungus
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Vigilantism - why isn’t it illegal?
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Go, Lem! Go, Lem! Yeah, I appreciate the funnies, too.


You never change things by fighting the existing reality.
To change something, build a new model that makes the old model obsolete.
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One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.

Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.


Life is a banquet -- and most poor suckers are starving to death -- Auntie Mame
You are born naked and everything else is drag - RuPaul
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ROTFMOL

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Originally Posted By: numan
The story of my life...


"I am young, whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious, and happy." ~~~ Kato Havas
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Well, at least you are aware of it, Diamond Lil !!
Most people aren't. wink

Count your blessings.

Last edited by numan; 09/11/12 05:00 PM.
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