Today's Birthdays
There are no members with birthdays on this day.
Current Topics
Denialism
by pdx rick - 11/28/21 05:39 PM
A Fungus Amungus
by logtroll - 11/28/21 01:25 PM
A Musical Quiz
by logtroll - 11/28/21 11:07 AM
Coronavirus: The Plague of The 21st Century?
by TatumAH - 11/28/21 06:19 AM
RoundTable For Fall 2021
by TatumAH - 11/28/21 03:26 AM
Pacific Northwest Weather
by TatumAH - 11/28/21 01:12 AM
What's for dinner?
by TatumAH - 11/28/21 01:08 AM
Republicans promise brutal revenge in 2022
by pdx rick - 11/27/21 08:45 PM
Boundaries for Facebook
by jgw - 11/27/21 06:56 PM
masks and vaccinations
by logtroll - 11/27/21 01:36 PM
Winning
by rporter314 - 11/27/21 03:38 AM
Vigilantism - why isn’t it illegal?
by logtroll - 11/25/21 11:46 PM
"Mom, I think it's a boy."
by TatumAH - 11/25/21 04:37 AM
Gerrymandering
by perotista - 11/23/21 10:17 PM
You don't know beans! vs Killer Beans
by TatumAH - 11/23/21 08:37 PM
Moderna trying to ignore 1.5 billion dollar investment
by Jeffery J. Haas - 11/23/21 03:03 AM
The other side of shipping
by Mellowicious - 11/21/21 10:52 PM
Popular Topics(Views)
9,679,145 my own book page
4,777,763 We shall overcome
3,862,559 Campaign 2016
3,524,616 Trump's Trumpet
2,787,705 3 word story game
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate Thread
Page 114 of 166 1 2 112 113 114 115 116 165 166
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 11,602
Likes: 52
L
veteran
Offline
veteran
L
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 11,602
Likes: 52
Was there ever a wrong place at the right time? Hmm


You never change things by fighting the existing reality.
To change something, build a new model that makes the old model obsolete.
R. Buckminster Fuller
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 218
B
stranger
Offline
stranger
B
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 218
Originally Posted By: logtroll
Was there ever a wrong place at the right time? Hmm


That is exactly where superheroes go to foil the nefarious evil plots of the bad guys.

Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 11,602
Likes: 52
L
veteran
Offline
veteran
L
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 11,602
Likes: 52
Originally Posted By: beechhouse
Originally Posted By: logtroll
Was there ever a wrong place at the right time? Hmm
That is exactly where superheroes go to foil the nefarious evil plots of the bad guys.
I'd like a few private moments, if you all will indulge me, while my mind is blowing.


You never change things by fighting the existing reality.
To change something, build a new model that makes the old model obsolete.
R. Buckminster Fuller
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,862
Golem Offline OP
enthusiast
OP Offline
enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,862

Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 21,134
Administrator
Bionic Scribe
Offline
Administrator
Bionic Scribe
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 21,134
Penis Surgery...*

*A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.*

*The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.
Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the
freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything,
however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."*

*The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have $9000 in insurance
compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis.
They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch."*

*The man perks up.*

*"So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I
understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is
something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher
before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a
nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she
might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you
make a decision."*

*The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.*

*The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"*
*"Yes I have," says the man.*

*"And has she helped you make a decision?"*

*"Yes" says the man.*

*"What is your decision?" asks the doctor*

*"We're getting granite counter tops."*


Life is a banquet -- and most poor suckers are starving to death -- Auntie Mame
You are born naked and everything else is drag - RuPaul
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,862
Golem Offline OP
enthusiast
OP Offline
enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,862
ROTFMOL

Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 21,134
Administrator
Bionic Scribe
Offline
Administrator
Bionic Scribe
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 21,134

SEX AND GOOD GRAMMAR.....On his 80th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a simple cure for erectile dysfunction! The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man. The old Indian gave him a potion and with a grip on his shoulder warned, ''This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say '1-2-3.' When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform for as long as you want."The man thanked the old Indian and as he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working. "Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,' he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men. His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"


And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle


Life is a banquet -- and most poor suckers are starving to death -- Auntie Mame
You are born naked and everything else is drag - RuPaul
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 15,952
Likes: 30
It's the Despair Quotient!
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
It's the Despair Quotient!
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 15,952
Likes: 30
I don't know why, but this just makes me laugh uncontrollably.
I guess I am easily amused.



"The Best of the Leon Russell Festivals" DVD
deepfreezefilms.com
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,862
Golem Offline OP
enthusiast
OP Offline
enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,862

Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,862
Golem Offline OP
enthusiast
OP Offline
enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,862
Originally Posted By: Jeffery J. Haas
I don't know why, but this just makes me laugh uncontrollably.
I guess I am easily amused.

That makes two of us. ROTFMOL

Page 114 of 166 1 2 112 113 114 115 116 165 166

Link Copied to Clipboard
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 34 guests, and 0 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
SuZQ2, KevFilthyANML, Risky, Gladys G. Jackson, Beach Baby
6,297 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums61
Topics17,251
Posts312,776
Members6,297
Most Online294
Dec 6th, 2017
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5
(Release build 20201027)
Responsive Width:

PHP: 7.4.26 Page Time: 0.031s Queries: 36 (0.023s) Memory: 3.0398 MB (Peak: 3.2529 MB) Data Comp: Zlib Server Time: 2021-11-28 18:05:00 UTC
Valid HTML 5 and Valid CSS