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Joined: Aug 2005
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Originally Posted By: Jeffery J. Haas


ROTFMOL ROTFMOL LOL ThumbsUp


"The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them."
Lenny Bruce

"The cleverest of all, in my opinion, is the man who calls himself a fool at least once a month."
Dostoevsky



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Looks eerily familiar:



"The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them."
Lenny Bruce

"The cleverest of all, in my opinion, is the man who calls himself a fool at least once a month."
Dostoevsky



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Posts: 27,583
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The 2.99Special

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the'seniors' special' was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for$2.99.

'Sounds good,' my wife said, 'But I don't want the eggs.'

'Then, I'll have to charge you $3.49 because you're ordering a la carte,' the waitress warned her.
'You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?' my wife asked incredulously.
'YES!' stated the waitress.

'I'll take the special then,' my wife said.

'How do you want your eggs?' the waitress asked.
'Raw and in the shell,' my wife replied.

She took the two eggs home and baked a cake.


milk and Girl Scout cookies ;-)

Save your breath-You may need it to blow up your date.




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milk and Girl Scout cookies ;-)

Save your breath-You may need it to blow up your date.




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Contrarian, extraordinaire


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Originally Posted By: pdx rick



Hyuk, hyuk...


You never change things by fighting the existing reality.
To change something, build a new model that makes the old model obsolete.
R. Buckminster Fuller
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They ain't THAT dumb smile


"The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them."
Lenny Bruce

"The cleverest of all, in my opinion, is the man who calls himself a fool at least once a month."
Dostoevsky



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On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big old pecan tree just
inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled a bucketful of
nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the
nuts.

"One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me," said one boy. A couple dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed to
investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me, one
for you, one for me.."

He just knew what it was. He jumped on his bike and rode off. Just
around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.

"Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing the
souls!"

So the old man hobbled slowly to the cemetery, with the boy close
behind him.

When they got to the fence they stood still and heard, "One for you,
one for me. One for you, one for me."

The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's
see if we can see the Lord."

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still
unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those two nuts by the fence and we'll be done".

They say the old man had the lead for a good half-mile before the kid on the bike passed him.


milk and Girl Scout cookies ;-)

Save your breath-You may need it to blow up your date.




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milk and Girl Scout cookies ;-)

Save your breath-You may need it to blow up your date.




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Posts: 6,388
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Originally Posted By: Scoutgal

ROTFMOL


"The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them."
Lenny Bruce

"The cleverest of all, in my opinion, is the man who calls himself a fool at least once a month."
Dostoevsky



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