I had been at the archaeological site in Southern Turkey for only a few weeks, when it became obvious to me that we needed to install an incentive program for the Kurdish workers who comprised the bulk of our diggers. So I began offering a sliding scale of rewards for special finds. The ultimate find was a complete pot or bowl with writing on it, which would earn the finder a cool ten dollars.

One evening I was enjoying a roasted chicken for dinner when two of my best workers interrupted me. They had each seen a complete bowl at the same time, and each wanted the $10. I offered them $5 apiece, but they refused, each saying he deserved the full reward. They drew knives and began to face off, when I had an idea. I pulled the wishbone out of the chicken and explained to them how we used to pull wishbones when I was a kid, with the one getting the longer piece being the winner. Being great gamblers, they agreed on this solution, and both went away happy, one with the ten bucks and the other consoled by the fact that it was just luck. Yes, I just stilled two Kurds with one bone.

Take the nacilbupeR pledge: I solemnly swear that I will help back out all Republicans at the next election.