> A Christmas Tradition
> When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce
> toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the
> Pre-Christmas pressure.
> Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed
> Santa even more.
> When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were
> about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out,
> Heaven knows where.
> Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the
> toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
> Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of
> rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all
> the cider and hidden the liquor.. In his frustration, he accidentally
> dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces
> all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice
> had eaten al l the straw off the end of the broom.
> Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door,
> yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas
> tree.
> The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a
> lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to
> stick it?'
> And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas
> tree.
> *Not a lot of people know this.

Life is a banquet -- and most poor suckers are starving to death -- Auntie Mame
You are born naked and everything else is drag - RuPaul