Australian Telephone Operator: "G'day mate .... Helpline here ..... What's the problem?"

Customer: "I'm in the Outback with the girlfriend and she's been stung on her thigh by a hornet and now her vagina has completely closed up!"
Australian Telephone Operator: "Bummer!"

Customer: "Great advice! Thanks mate, bye.

Life is a banquet -- and most poor suckers are starving to death -- Auntie Mame
You are born naked and everything else is drag - RuPaul