Grrr!! You describe classic spousal tool hostility, usually precipitated by typical male tool organization strateregy, ie leaving tools where you are sure you will next use them, a perfectly logical system. nobody knows the joy of finding a lost tool, only by being in the situation needing that tool and finding it right where you need it! A classic example explains why you need duplicates of frequently needed tools, clearly enabled by having a Harbor Freight near by. I have a bucked of hammers, to remind me of past co-workers, of various types, woodwork, auto body work, small sledges, geology picks, etc. In the late fall when cleaning out the gutters of leaves, I also check the function and layout of my ice melting wire, that just cut troughs through snow to allow melting snow to run off instead of forming an ice damn and funneling icewater into the house. There is a special place in hell for builder who put flat roof expansions in snow belt homes! tripple cat grrr! Anyway, guess where I found a standard hammer? It was right where I needed it on the roof where i left it, knowing that the next time i needed it for wire securing, I would forget to bring one to the roof with me.
There is a very handy catalog" Hard to find tools" that has all kinds of specialized unusual tools, I clearly dont need it as all my tools meet that criteria. The worst offenders were tape measures though I have more than 8 but fewer than 12, but I could never find them when I needed them, that led to more cut and fit approximations. One day when looking for an obscure kitchen tool, I found it in the obscure kitchen tool drawer where all tape measures go to die, or at least rest for a few month. Every time my wife found a tape measure, usually in the middle of a inside task, she dutifully placed it in the pile of measures, acting out her hostility to tool messes, and demonstrating who rules! Clearly a very successful series of coups, bloodlessly and quietly removing many generations of rulers!
There's nothing wrong with thinking Except that it's lonesome work sevil regit