It has taken me most of two days to write this post.

This thread has weighed heavily on me. 200,000 men claimed to have been sexually abused by priests of the Catholic Church. We could have discussed what the French government role should be, what the US government’s role should be in a similar situation. We could have discussed the difficulties men and women have in coming to terms with sexual abuse; there are real differences by gender, and it’s a huge topic. Given some basic knowledge and some empathy we might even have noted the physical pain and damage and cruelty that occurs when a small body is penetrated by...anything.

But instead, the choice was to explore which young people are old enough for consensual sex. Instead, the choice was to explore whether young people enjoy being abused by older people. You chose to get your information by comparing one gay man’s positive experience to 200,000 negative ones, as though they somehow balanced, as though one can inform the other, as though they had anything at all in common.


In the United States, one in every six women has experienced rape and/or attempted rape.

I know four women who were abused by their fathers or stepfathers.
I know one woman who was raped in her late teens.
I know one woman who was raped repeatedly by multiple men at the age of 14.

Those are the ones who chose to confide in me.

If you ask them, they will tell you that they did not ask for it, did not enjoy it, in some cases barely survived it.

If you ask me which one, if any, of those women was me, I won’t answer.

“It’s the shipwreck that leads you to the magical island.”
(Trevor Noah)